The Falling, and the Catching
by the bunny and the starfish
Summary: Lily Evans has always had the opportunity to choose. She's brilliant, beautiful, sweet, yet fiery. So what happens when she has the opportunity to choose between the boy who made her fall, or the boy that was there to catch her? MAJOR AU
1. Chapter 1

**Chapter 1: Lily's POV**

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A simple trip to the library was all that I wanted. A new book Severus recommended for potions class was my driving force for the visit.

I've always been uncharacteristically clumsy you see. I was constantly falling, my knees and shins proof of it. This time some one was there to catch me.

I was walking and the stairs suddenly shifted. I had been warned of this my first year. You would think that by the time I was a sixth-year I would have learned. But no. Instead my weight, which I was propelling up, was now propelling me down and straight for the cold, marble stairs.

Just then, right before my nose made impact with the hard marble of the Hogwarts stairs, long and lean arms caught me. They also lifted me back up to my feet.

"You should really be more careful you know," A smooth tenor voice said from behind. I jumped out of my skin as I realized it was a boy. I could only pray it wasn't Potter. Falling was embarrassing enough, but being picked up by a boy (especially a stuck-up, popular one) was an entirely different thing.

I turned around and came face-to-face with Remus Lupin, one of James Potter's flanks. His left-hand man.

I examined him for a moment, seeing if any of the rumors about him and the Marauders were true, or if they did him justice. Although barely any of the rumors revolved around him… His sandy long hair was falling into his lovely auburn eyes that seemed to sparkle with an undying hope, yet marred with a frustration and sadness that shouldn't have belonged to a sixteen-year-old boy. His full lips were pulled up into a smile, showing no teeth. It seemed his only flaw was a scar, marring one of his eyes. He attempted to conceal it with his long, shaggy locks. But nothing missed my examining.

I stared back into his eyes, slowly and carefully, examining their color, shape, and expression. I had never noticed how deep and intriguing they were. He held something back, had a wall up, but for the first time, I was able to see through that, even if it was just a little. They were like autumn, the time where leaves change their shades. I smirked as I compared his eyes to a ring of trees, the outside the most burnt, dark brown, slowly lightening up to a lovely yellow, while going through all the oranges and reds first. They were framed by a thick layer of dark, long lashes. He stared at me, and in that moment, I saw a secret. A big secret.

I had always wondered why Remus, shy, calm, collected, possibly stoic, Remus spent his time with the Marauders. Peter, Sirius and Potter were always mischievous, full of themselves, and the lady-men of the school. It was apparent to me however, that Remus had been underestimated. Not by me though, not anymore at least. He sparked something in my curiosity, and I had to know what he was hiding.

I collected myself before speaking, trying to hide my eyes and blush by brushing my hands off on my uniform. "Yes, I know full well how to be careful," I stated, "I just choose not to."

He chuckled, and asked, "Well, are you headed to the library? That's where I'm going, and I like to think I can stop you from falling again."

I stuck my tongue out at him, though I knew he meant it as a simple joke and waited for the stairs to move in the correct direction.

Lupin came to the step I was standing on, a whole three steps above his. It was then I realized just how tall he was. And how muscular. It was lean muscle though, not disgusting, and he certainly didn't want to show off his brawn as much as Potter did.

He dressed in baggy clothes, attempting to hide, but nothing could hide the hard muscle beneath. Clearly, he was humble.

"So, what do you need from the library?" I inquired, attempting to start a conversation with the mysterious, brooding boy.

"Just a book on Animingi, and possibly werewolves. They've always been a favorite of mine, those dark creatures." He laughed inwardly, as if at an inside joke.

"Well I'm going to get a book on potions." I said proudly. I knew it was a good book, after all, Sev had recommended it to me.

"Which one?" He asked with his brow furrowed. I could practically see the cogs turning in his head as he tried to think of possible explanations.

"Impossible Potions by Guffaw Gobsmack." I said proudly. I highly doubted he had heard of that one.

"Read that. You need something better, something more complicated." Remus said as the stairs stopped in front of the library. I was shocked and jealous. I wanted to show off to him.

He held out his hand in signal for me to go first. He was certainly the gentleman.

"Like what?" I asked curiously. It was clear this boy knew what he was talking about when it came to books.

We were instantly quieter as we entered our sanctuary. It was so peaceful there, it was home.

He grabbed my hand. A simple gesture, meant with no romantic feelings, and yet it sent electric shocks up my arm. I shivered. I had never felt like that before, let alone had someone give me that feeling.

I watched as he lead me deeper into the library, depths I had never seen before, until he sharply turned down an aisle and grabbed a faded, dusty book.

"This is all you need to ace Potions." He said with a glowing face. It was as if he were proud of the book, and proud to have read it. I smiled at how something as simple as a book could make Remus Lupin, mysterious sad, boy, that happy.

I looked at the title. Everything Potions by Anonymous.

I stared up, one eyebrow arched. He knew immediately what I was skeptical about. Usually books with anonymous authors were so dangerous and awful, authors couldn't bring themselves to even write their name.

He shrugged, and ease swept over me. I had a feeling he would tell me if there were something wrong with that book.

Remus grabbed another dusty book down from the shelf, and this one did look rather dangerous. For when he opened it, it was filled with graphic drawings and pictures. I knew it was his book.

"Well, I guess I'll see you later then. In potions maybe…" I said, but his nose was buried deep in his book, and he was long gone.

For whatever reason, I walked out of the library with a smug smile.

After all, I had just spent the hour with Remus Lupin.


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2: Remus' POV**

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I had basically just ditched Sirius, James, and Peter. I'm sure they were going to give me hell for that later, but I didn't care. I didn't want to be a part of yet another humiliation of Severus Snape. I knew how it felt to be the humiliated one, and I hated that feeling.

I was off to the library to do some more research on my condition. Hopefully, I could find something to ease the pain of them, and to stop the ridiculous growth-spurts that kept me from sleeping.

There were some things a boy my age would enjoy about being a werewolf. Sure, the new strength, speed, reflexes, and heightened senses were all great, but they all came at the price of no control. I hated the pain of the transformations, and how awful I felt during recovery. My body was attempting to piece itself back together, to put the bones in their rightful places.

Needless to say I was tortured. I had forced my friends to become Animingi just to help me, to be able to be with me. The consequences that awaited them if anyone found out were awful. And I couldn't do that to them.

But I loved my brothers all the same. We laughed together, cried together, told each other our deepest secrets, and we loved each other. Don't worry though, none of us were gay…

In fact, it was the exact opposite. Each one of us had someone on our minds, someone we hoped to stake our claim on now that it was our sixth-year.

Sirius had his eye out for the rebellious and drop-dead gorgeous Amelia Berg. Her perfect features were too much for Sirius to pass up. And both were falling for each other.

Poor Peter was stuck with the nosy and rude Marissa Thewlis. He honestly deserved so much better, but she gave him what he wanted, which is sex and fun. There is no denying that….

But now for the difficult part, James. James had been stuck on the same girl ever since arriving to Hogwarts. Lily Evans. Oh how infamous she was in our dorm! James was playing all his tricks, but she was far too stubborn to fall for any of them! She resisted and was fiery, yet beautiful and sweet.

You ask me how I know this? She was the girl I had my eye out for as well, though I didn't make my intentions so well known. Instead going around the back way with my random acts of kindness.

Unfortunately, it seemed I would only know second best. There was a girl in Lily's group of close friends, the French girl Jeanne Ennuoie who had _her _eye out for _me._ I didn't want her though. I would only have eyes for Lily.

It was the library I was off to today, ready to read. I was just leaving the Gryffindor dorm, when I saw a familiar red-head nearly crush her face against the stairs as they were moving.

My reflexes and speed reacted at once, catching her and righting her before anything could happen to her lovely face.

I wanted to warn her, to tell her to be careful without letting her think I was genuinely worried. "You should really be more careful you know," I commented in my most confident voice. I noticed her visibly jump, as if she were nervous and intimidated by my presence.

She turned around to face me and I was able to look at her, examine every one of her perfect features. Her skin was pale as the moon (something I normally despised, but it was beautiful on her) and it was an amazing contrast to her red hair. Her fiery hair seemed to glint with gold under the candle light, and it matched her personality perfectly. It was up today, yet a few wild-yet-perfect ringlets had fallen out of her bun. They framed her heart-shaped face.

I gulped as I met her eyes, which were busy examining my own face. They were the greenest of emeralds, sparkling with an ever-burning fire of curiosity and confidence. Despite the lively nature of her wild hair and eyes, her overall exterior was calm and soft. Although I tried not to look, her body was shaped like a perfect hourglass, and…well…she wasn't lacking in the chest. She looked soft, as if you could hug her and kiss her; as if she were a pale, fragile porcelain doll.

Her lovely soprano voice suddenly awoke me from my thoughts of her eyes, "Yes, I know full well how to be careful," she stated as she brushed her tiny hands against the uniform," I just choose not to."

Boy was she a feisty one. She was ready for comebacks when they were needed. I chuckled at her and asked a question, hoping for yes as the answer, "Well, are you headed to the library? That's where I'm going, and I like to think I can stop you from falling again."

She stuck her tongue out at me, and I let out a laugh. She truly was a handful.

I wanted to look at her eyes again, and I knew there was only one way for me to do that, and that was to get to her step, which meant showing off my height.

I weighed my options, and decided to show off my height. I might as well use it to my advantage.

I stepped up and suddenly realized how tall I actually was. I tried not to slouch, but it was extremely difficult. I felt like a giant compared to her.

She was attempting to start small talk, and I gladly joined in.

"So, what do you need from the library?" She asked, her emerald eyes sparkling.

"Just a book on Animingi and werewolves. They've always been a favorite of mine, those dark creatures." I chuckled, thinking of my latest transformation and how my friends helped me. I wanted to help them in return though.

"Well I'm getting a book on potions." Lily stated with a smug tone. Immediately, my mind began running through the possibilities. I had read nearly all of them, and I knew that I could recommend an even better one to her.

"Impossible Potions by Guffaw Gobsmack." She said lightly, yet with raised eyebrows. My study in the area of body language and psychology pointed toward the fact she was proud of her book.

I recognized the name immediately. I had already read it, and it wasn't the best. The illustrations were too cartoon-like for my taste. And the potions were far too simple for the brilliant Lily Evans.

I shook my head, and my hair shook in my face. "Read that. You need something better, something more complicated." I stated as the stairs stopped in front of the library.

"Like what?" She demanded, curiosity burning in her voice, and flaring in her eyes once again. Her vivacity was too contagious, and a feeling of confidence washed over me.

I gallantly grabbed her hand and led her through the library. The feeling of her hand in mine, and how well they fit together sent shivers up my spine. Until I remembered how James had staked his claim on her, and I willed the feelings to stop. But they didn't.

I came to my favorite section, the Anonymous section. All the books there were graphic and extremely detailed and complex.

My eyes scanned for the familiar potions book. The one I had used to ace potions last year, possibly the hardest year for me. If I was right, it would last for this year as well.

She stared at the title of the author, and when she arched her eyebrow in uncertainty, I shrugged, hopefully reassuring her.

I grabbed the book I wanted. Animingi and Werewolves: Curses and Choices. I smirked at how perfectly that fit my friends and my situation.

Immediately I was buried in my book, and I forgot completely about Lily until she was gone.

I sighed, thinking of her. It was odd, how one girl could make me so giddy. I instantly scolded myself. She was James's girl.

And yet I couldn't deny the reason I was happy, for once.

I had just spent the hour with Lily Evans.


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3: Lily's POV: EDIT  
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My friends were giggling ridiculously as we passed Potter. Everyone at Hogwarts knew about his never-ending crush on me, and they all loved to rub it in my face. I personally, hated it. And with the upcoming trip to Hogsmede, bets were already being placed to what I would say when James asked me there.

For a split second, with his hair was stuck out on all sides, and he had his sly, goofy grin on his face, I could see why girls thought him to be all the rage. If he wasn't so full of himself, or a selfish jerk, he could actually be cute. Sometimes, even James Potter could tone down his pretty-boy façade and let everyone see the real him. It just might help him.

Once I clawed my eyes away from James, I waved to Remus and smiled. For whatever reason, I couldn't seem to get him out of my head. I remembered when he grabbed my hand, the confidence seemed to be oozing out of him. Now, seeing him flank James made me angry. It was as if _he _was supposed to be the one in charge, not James.

The problem was, was that he didn't seem to mind. I knew he thought of himself as the underdog, never wanting the spotlight for his brilliancy or quick-wit. His body language screamed insecurity, is shoulders were slumped, trying to hide his huge height, and he was loping. I knew that if he were to run, he could overtake even a cheetah.

Suddenly, his face went from playful and smirking, to chagrin. James was gesturing wildly at my behind, so I assumed that Remus' change in behavior was due to their conversation topic.

My cheeks flared as I swiveled to glare at Potter. Almost instantly, a smart-ass comment came out, "You know, Potter, I really don't understand why you think you're such hot shit. All you ever do is show off. Maybe if you spent less time checking out my butt and more time thinking of tricks that would actually be funny, you could get a girlfriend." James had never had a romantic relationship before, which was a large shock to everyone. He could have practically any girl in the school. So, my words weren't necessarily true, but it was still a hit below the belt. I had caused his ego to be smashed in front of all my friends, and his.

James turned bright red and could do nothing but turn and run. I caught Remus' eye as the four walked away, and he winked at me. He mouthed words somewhere along the line of "Good girl".

I walked away proudly, my friends followed behind with awestruck faces. I had accomplished what no other person had ever done before. I had hurt Potter's untouchable ego. I was sure my step had some sort of a skip to it, and I knew I had to be careful. I could end up falling. Although Lupin catching me again didn't seem like such a bad idea.

I thought I was clear of the four before a finger tapped my shoulder. I had no idea who it could be. It definitely wasn't Remus. His fingers were long and thin, as if meant for playing the piano. These hands were thicker and stronger, perhaps manlier. I turned around to the one person I didn't want to see.

Potter.

I stared at him for a moment, open-mouthed at his gallantry. I thought I had finally told him off, and he would finally leave me alone. I obviously wasn't lucky enough to have that happen to me.

He laughed at my expression, "You know, if you don't shut your mouth, you'll end up drooling."

I snapped my mouth shut and my jaw locked. I spoke out of my teeth as my cheeks lit up, with what I'm sure was annoyance. "Maybe if you would just leave me alone, we wouldn't have this problem in the first place."

"Oh, so you don't want to talk to me now?" He questioned as his hazel eyes blazed with anger. Hazel? I had never noticed them before. His glasses had always been to distracting to even notice them. It looked as if they were hiding something. Almost as if behind the never fading mischievous glint, there was a real person, with real feelings. Oh, and how incredibly hazel they were…

I shifted through the lists of descriptions I had read to describe hazel eyes. They weren't green-brown, brown-green, or yellowish-brown-green. They almost defied description; with his plant colored eyes. They almost looked as if someone had stepped through deep green ivy with muddy shoes. His eyes were beautiful.

I shocked myself for a moment. I had actually considered James Potter to be rather handsome, a man I might consider choosing. I quickly recovered, he was obviously awaiting my reaction, "I _never _want or wanted to talk to you. You just seem to keep coming back," I retorted.

Ironically, he smirked. He ran his fingers through his hair, messing it up even more than it already was. His glasses, smudged and wrecked, slid down his nose as he did so. His whole body shook as he laughed out loud. I was taken aback. This was _not _the reaction I had been expecting.

"You know, Evans, you really are quite something. Normally, girls would have been doing anything I asked by now. Despite what you said earlier." James said, his normal smug voice tainted by a slight bit of bitterness at the end.

"I'm not like most girls." I instinctively replied. It was something I had come accustomed to. It always seemed I was on a different page entirely from all my other friends. But I could never tell them that. It would wreck everything I'd ever worked for.

"You know, maybe I like girls that aren't like other girls." He murmured, suddenly serious. His eyes pierced into mine, and they were entrancing. I was falling deep into them, not noticing the words that came out of his mouth or mine.

He was smiling when he walked away, and my knees felt weak, so I was pretty sure I was smiling too.

"Oh my gosh Lily! I cannot believe you are going to Hogsmede with James! That's so incredible! He's like, amazing!" gushed one girl.

Suddenly, I was surrounded by ditsies. I had to get away. They were all saying something so ridiculous! There was no way I could ever had said I would go to Hogsmede with James.

I ran to the one place I knew they wouldn't follow. I ran to see Severus.

I was gasping for breath by the time I reached him, he only glared.

"So I heard you are Potter's new girlfriend." He sneered in his nasally voice. For the first time, he was rude to me. I was beginning to notice things I hadn't about him before. And I certainly didn't like it.

"I'm not." I said calmly. I knew how to play this game with him. It would be an easy win. I just had to take the defensive, play the played. It'd be easy.

"Then what's all this talk of you going to Hogsmede with him?" He questioned, still in the same tone, yet somehow softer.

"You know those rumors, Sev. Those things spread like wildfire." I joked. Hopefully, he would believe my act, and I wouldn't have to explain that I had said yes, and why.

He smirked and smiled thinly, "You're right, Lily. I apologize. I got flustered."

"No problem, Sev. I'll see you later then," I hoped I wouldn't. He was starting to get on my nerves…

"Adieu," He joked flakily. I waved and smiled back as sweetly as I could, without being fake

I waltzed out of the study hall. I had to sit down, my knees were shaking. I could barely stand. Soon, I was hyperventilating. I had to get to the infirmary. I was almost certain I was going into shock. I worked on spreading out my breathing so it was even. I stood up, and the rush of blood to my head was dizzying.

This was my body telling me it couldn't believe what I had just done.

I had just said I would go on a date with James Potter.


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4: Remus' POV**

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Never in a million years would I have expected this of _Lily Evans_. _My_ Lily Evans had agreed to go on a date with James. She just didn't realize how he was smoothing her for a stupid reason. He wanted everyone to know just how amazing he was. How no one could stand in his way when he wanted something.

Stupid.

I angrily walked off after James came to us, eyes bright and excited. I had ever seen him so happy. I truly did want him content, just not at my expense.

It made me want to throw up.

I ended up in the place I always did, the library. Now though, it was a place that held much more pleasant memories. A place that had Lily Evans' smell lingering.

As I walked past the desk where I had first picked up her hand, I could feel the electric spark that ran through me as I remembered. I shivered happily, recalling the feeling I wanted to cherish for the rest of my life.

I walked forward, heading toward the Anonymous section. I heightened my smell, breathing in deeply her smell of warm vanilla and cinnamon. I could detect a faint smell of raspberries. It was a strange metaphor for her personality, sweet and welcoming, yet an attribute of spice and flavor. It tingled my nose and my brain. I smiled again. Anyone that didn't know me would have thought I was drunk, swaying around and smiling. Little did they know…

I cleared my thoughts. Lily was _James'_. Not mine. She could never be. She belonged to James.

As I reached my dark, dreary corner, filled with cobwebs, I sat down. This is what usually happened, I would give up something for James, or Sirius, or Peter, and end up wallowing in my own misery.

It would not do. I would not have it.

For once, I wouldn't take being second or third or even fourth best. I _wanted_ something this time, I had to have it. Even if it meant waiting, watching. I would have it.

I would have _her._

So Lily would be mine, I would just have to be the silent watcher. Doing small, meaningful things to win her heart. I wouldn't flirt, but I would do my damndest to be myself around her, let her in.

It was then I realized I wanted her to know me, I wanted to let her in.

I suddenly noticed I wasn't alone. Large feet in soft, shoes where pointing in my direction. As I craned my neck, I followed the trail of humble wool pants and coat, finally leading to a face I knew very well.

Professor Dumbledore.

He was smiling, the half-moon glasses sliding down his face. I had sat in his office multiple times before. As he was the headmaster, he had to know everything about my condition. He made special accommodations for me. Aside from my friends, he was the only one who knew. I would never tell anyone about that.

"Is there something you wish to tell me, Remus?" He asked, his blue eyes piercing mine for an answer nothing less than the truth.

"No," I whispered feebly. I didn't want to have to explain this situation to him. He just wouldn't understand.

"I don't believe you," he responded, a small chuckle in his voice. I didn't meet his eyes, nor did I respond to him. I didn't want help. I didn't want to impose on anyone.

It wasn't long before he sat down next to me, as if he knew that I didn't want help. He was going to give it to me anyways. It was slightly embarrassing though, given the fact I was taller than him, even when we were both sitting down.

"Good Lord, Remus, I never realized how tall you truly were!" Dumbledore said as he stared at my long, wiry figure.

I nodded with disgust. My height was something I was self-conscious about, as it was caused by my condition, and I didn't like people pointing it out.

"You know, word spreads around fast. You'd be surprised at how much we teachers know about what truly goes on in the corridors of Hogwarts," he said, a mischievous chortle filling his sentence.

"Therefore, after eliminating all possibilities, I would say you are jealous of Mr. Potter and wish to "go out" with Miss Evans yourself. Am I correct?" I could feel his eyes boring into the side of my face.

I could only nod numbly to his question. I only prayed he wouldn't say anything else, in case someone else heard.

Dumbledore continued, "You know, your situation is of great intrigue. I have read on more than one occasion how werewolves attach themselves to people. Be it a friend, or a lady-friend," I could feel the blood leaving my face. If this was the case for Lily, that meant I couldn't live without her.

"In your case, I would say you have attached yourself to Lily Evans, and your friends. You feel an undying sense of devotion, loyalty, yes?" He asked, trying to further his theory until he proved it. I nodded in assurance.

"Thus, I believe you to be attached to these people. What I can say to the problem of Lily is only to wait. The good men always triumph in the end. James Potter is a good man, just not through and through. There is a streak of cruelty in him. I have only seen it overtake him once before when he bludgeoned a Beater in Slytherin after the boy teased him about his appearance and performance during the game. I was the only one to witness it, and since none of us have spoken about it."

I stared up at him for the first time in our one-sided conversation. James? He bludgeoned someone, a stocky strong beater no less! I was aghast, and words failed me.

His eyes pierced me once again, searching for the real me, the real emotions, "But you Remus, you would never hurt a fly. Even in your condition, you have never hurt anyone. Not if you could help it anyway. You feel guilty about your friends being Animingi, am I correct?"

My jaw dropped and my eyes widened, "How did you-"

"Relax Remus, I know many things. Have no fear though, your secret_s _are safe with me. Now as I was saying, you are a good man. And Lily will realize that. Give her some time to see that Potter doesn't quite measure up to you," he smiled.

"Remember my words, good men always triumph in the end. I did," he said, his smile growing larger, as if remembering a former flame. Or current.

As he stood up, and walked out of the library, I couldn't help but call out his name, and run to him in gratitude.

"Thank you Professor," I gasped in appreciation and respect.

He clapped me on the shoulder, "You are quite welcome, my boy. And remember, I am always here if you need someone, and I think I have something for your growth spurts. Perhaps I can look you in the eye the next time I see you, and not have to crane my neck. Anyways, see me in my office. Good day," Dumbledore then Apparated out of the room.

I sat back in a chair, the eerie silence coming over me once again. Dumbledore's appearance had allowed a sliver of hope to streak through, as well as the truth. This was why James was always so guarded with his temper. I had remembered him a few times though, letting it get the better of him. Our room was a mess after his rampage. I highly doubted that after this piece of information, I would be able to look at him the same.

It was then a ghastly thought entered my mind. _What if he hurt Lily?_

No. I wouldn't allow that. I would become her friend, a good one. So that I could be with her at every moment. At every moment she needed me.

As I walked out of the library, a perfect ending to this entry came to mind.

When I first walked in, I was a desperate, depressed boy. When I walked out, I was a man with purpose.


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter 5: Lily's POV**

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Why did I feel like I had suddenly betrayed someone? Did I?

No, not that I was aware of. I wasn't anyone's girlfriend, nor was I going out with anyone else.

So then why the nagging feeling of guilt, of my "choice" to go out with James?

This would not do. I was always used to having complete control, whether it be my emotions, my facial expressions, or thoughts. These new out of control feelings were a mystery, and I had to escape it. It was becoming too much for me. The years of practice ignoring the teasing and mean names were nothing compared to this. It was as if all of them came rushing at once.

I ran to my sanctuary, a place that now held much happier memories from before. The library. I could feel my control slipping, fading away.

On my way in, just before the tears broke, I ran into a hard surface. Was it a surface, or was it a person? It was a person…I felt the robes, saw the Gryffindor crest inches above where my head was.

With that, I had my answer. The tallest person in the whole school, the most mysterious person in the whole school was standing in front of me, holding me gently, telling me it would be okay as I sobbed into his large chest.

He steered me deep into the library. If it were any other person, I would be scared for myself. What could happen in such a place faraway from any supervision? But no, Remus would _never_ do something like that.

We sat down together, my seat next to his on the couch, my knee brushing his. He held my hand as I cried into his lean side, his other long comforting arm wrapped around me, stroking my back.

With him, I felt like I could tell him anything, like he would be there through anything. Like there was an unspoken connection between the two of us that neither understood.

And I was okay with that.

At that moment, it didn't matter what personal torture I would be putting myself through with James the next day. All that mattered was that I was here, with a friend, being comforted.

A friend. A good one.

As my sobs slowly subsided, and our breathing paces matched, I was able to raise my eyes to his face. He was looking at me with such adoration, and such sympathy, I felt like I wanted to kiss him.

_Kiss him?_

My thoughts were growing ever more confused. One moment I was thinking about how James Potter was actually cute, to thinking I wanted to kiss one of his best friends.

I didn't want to move. In fact, although the rational part of my brain was screaming to get away before the feelings got any deeper, my body wouldn't allow it. I was far too content in his arms for my own good.

Even after I stopped crying, we stayed in our embrace. His limber hand was still tracing absent circles on my back, sending shivers of pleasure throughout my entire body. His other hand was entwined with mine, squeezing it every now and again to remind me he was here. I was snuggled up under his arm, nearly falling asleep I was so comfortable.

I could smell his breath, feel every move, every twitch of his hard muscles. He enveloped me in his musky scent. I closed my eyes, and imagined the scene his smell presented. There were pine trees and honey bees buzzing. I was laying upon lush grass, the leaves tickling my face. I was facing up, looking up at the clear blue sky, the smell of a near orange tree adding to the pleasantness of the scene. As I turned my head, I saw a face, and it wasn't the face I was expecting to see.

It was blank, although I was very happy to see him. I wanted to know who that face was, who's face haunted my dreams.

It wasn't until he shook me awake that I realized I had fallen asleep.

"As much as I would love to remain here with you Lily, we have to go. It's nearly time for the Great Hall dinner. If you will allow me though, I would like to escort you," Remus said politely, a smile covering his face. He was obviously very happy, as was I.

"I'd love that," I said. It was truly so easy to be with him, his moods contagious.

He stood up first, and I instantly missed his warm body against mine, his arm wrapped around me.

Fortunately he still held my hand. It was at this realization I blushed. Evidently, he figured my blush was due to my unwillingness in the situation, rather than my pleasure. In the most gentleman-like fashion, he removed his hand and placed his hand on the small of my back, steering me out of the corridor.

After seeing him so unguarded in the library, the sight of him with his wall back up caught me off guard. Here I was, thinking we would get close and he was back to his usual self.

As we neared the doors to the Great Hall, the stares and whispers of other children began to get too much for both me and him, he dropped his arm and turned to face me, speaking in a whisper of his own, "James would never forgive me if he knew. I just wanted you to know, you can come to me with anything, even if its just homework, or if you just need someone to talk to. I'm here for you Lily. And I rather enjoyed being close to you," he confessed sheepishly, yet the look of adoration creeping through in his eyes.

I drew him closer, getting lost in the depths of his auburn eyes, "The same goes for you Remus. And I rather enjoyed being close to you. I shall have to cry far more often in your company so that I may be in that comfortable position," I said, hoping he could see how thankful I was.

He smiled and pulled me into a massive hug, his limbs enveloping me. I laughed out loud as he swung me around, before gently placing me back on the ground.

I wanted to show him how much his persistence meant to me, how much his friendship did. I very decidedly placed a kiss upon his cheek, and entered the hall, my cheeks flushed and a smile covering my face.

He followed suit behind me, his face flushed with happiness, although his slumping shoulders showed he was back in his usual state of feeling like the second best.

It was then it struck me. The reason I had felt so guilty was because of Remus. Like I did have an attachment to him other than friendship, which would explain the ease of his company.

I _liked _him. Potter would _never_ have anything on him. Remus was bounds ahead of him. And I wouldn't have it any other way.

I would remain true to Remus. This date with Potter would be nothing, if only giving into a moment of insecurity.

At least I hoped.


	6. Chapter 6

**Chapter 6: Remus' POV**

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I walked into the library, and I saw the girl that had been haunting my every thought since I had caught her on the steps. And she was on the verge of tears.

Her thoughts must have been very far away, for I am hard to miss, and she walked straight into me. As a reflex, I wrapped my arms around her, tried to comfort her as her sobs began to reek havoc on her petite body.

While her face was hidden from view, I could see the stares of other people boring into our embrace. I did my best to shield her as I steered her into the deep corridors of the library. I'm sure the other people around us were thinking I would do something unforgivable. But I would never, could never do that. Especially to Lily.

We sat down together on a plush red couch, the same one I had sat on millions of times before, reading and reading. It nearly knew my favorite positions, and it welcomed me.

She was still crying heavily, and although I had absolutely no idea how to comfort anyone, let alone a girl, being with her seemed to come naturally to me.

I entwined my large hand with hers, my thumb resting on top of hers. Her pale, slim leg was resting against mine. Her feet feebly brushed the ground. I wrapped my other, unoccupied arm around her elfin body and began drawing absent patterns on her back. My mother did this for me before she died, and it would hopefully provide the same sense of security for her.

Lily buried her face deep in my side, and I could feel the desire growing in my chest. I wanted so much for it to be like this all the time, just without her crying. The feeling of her snuggled up against my chest was incredible. It felt right.

I wanted her to feel the same. Like it felt right to be in my arms. The physical attraction buzzing between us was enough to make my muscles jump, to rearrange themselves in an even closer position. But I wouldn't allow that. As it was, we were close, so very close. And it made me completely happy.

As the sobs that were once so violently shaking her body subsided into small sniffles, the tears still trickling down her face, she looked up at me.

My breath caught in my throat. I had truly never seen a more beautiful sight. Her lips were swollen from being scratched against my wool coat, and her cheeks were flushed from crying. The ridges around her eyes were red, bringing out the emerald green shade. Her eyelashes were dripping with her tears that she had once cried. They were so thick and dark, as if she was already wearing mascara, although I knew she wasn't.

It was in that moment, where I was staring into her eyes, I saw something I hadn't before. She wanted something, but I had no idea what. Almost as quickly as the look came, it was lost, replaced by a look of deep confusion.

I didn't want to move, and I didn't want her to think that I wanted to, so I stayed tracing the circles on her back. We were in the exact same position, even after she was finished crying.

I don't know whether it was my warmth, or my size, but it wasn't long before she fell asleep. Her eyelids were still swollen from crying, but her breathing was deep and peaceful.

I released my hand from her iron grip, and traced her face with a single finger. I feared this would be the last time I would be able to hold her like this, for her to be this close. I knew it wasn't long before James claimed her and became territorial.

Needless to say, I was quite put out, even Lily's lips, pulled into a smile wouldn't help my mood.

We sat there for a long time, her head rested against my side, her free hand grabbing the fabric at my chest. It took me a while to realize that there was someone else in the corridor, as my attention was quite compromised by the gorgeous girl sleeping on me.

It was Dumbledore.

A word never passed between us, but I could tell by the smug smile and wink he had for me that he was proud. Proud that I was getting the girl in my own special way, and not for selfish reasons.

He then whispered, "I told you so," before Apparating out of the room.

As he left, Lily began to stir, probably because of the movement I caused when waving at Dumbledore. I quickly grabbed her hand in mine and came up with a quick, but logical solution.

Her sleep-filled eyes looked up at me again, and after taking a deep breath and gulping, I said, "As much as I would love to remain here with you Lily, we have to go. It's nearly time for the Great Hall dinner. If you will allow me though, I would like to escort you," I knew my face betrayed all emotions: happiness and content.

"I'd love that," she said as we stood up. The loss of her body next to mine hit me like a ton of bricks, and to maintain a small amount of pleasure, I still held her hand.

As her observant eyes crept down her own arm to where our hands were entwined, she blushed. I was mortified. I never wanted her to feel like she had to do anything, let alone be an unwilling participant. I removed my hand from hers in the least obtrusive manner possible, and replaced it in a more chaste position on the small of her back.

I knew that walking out of the library, I had to steel myself for the stares and whispers I knew we would receive. After all, I was James' best friend, and yet I held the girl of his dreams.

When the looks became too much for me, who preferred being out of the spotlight, I had to speak to Lily, to warn her and explain, "James would never forgive me if he knew. I just wanted you to know, you can come to me with anything Albeit homework, or if you just need someone to talk to. I'm here for you Lily. And I rather enjoyed being close to you," I wanted to let her have a sense, even a small one of how I felt about her.

She pulled me closer, she was strong for a girl her size compared to me, "The same goes for you Remus. And I rather enjoyed being close to you. I shall have to cry far more often in your company so that I may be in that comfortable position," her eyes were shining with gratitude and gratefulness. I knew the feeling. And I understood.

I couldn't control myself any longer. I picked her up in a hug before momentarily spinning her around. She laughed out loud and I loved it. I loved seeing her happy.

When I set her down, she put her hands on my face and drew me close, before placing a resolute kiss on my cheek.

She swiveled around fast, bursting through the Great Halls' doors. I followed suit, trying to ignore the burning sensation her kiss had caused. It was as if I was seared on my cheek, in the most pleasant way possible.

I was sure I was flushed in embarrassment as I entered behind her. I didn't want her with James, not for a second. That much was sure.

I took my place on the left-hand side of James. He was glaring at me, and I could tell he used his detection skills to figure out what had happened.

"Why were you with Lily?!" He demanded angrily, nearly stomping his foot like a two-year-old.

Keeping my face down, I responded, "I was sitting in the library, and she walked in. We chatted and then came down here," it wasn't entirely a lie…

"Then why was she blushing?" He insisted, pushing to see there was no flirtation what-so-ever.

"She was blushing because in the hallway, she tripped and I caught her. She tried to laugh it off, but it was clear she was mortified. I promise you James, I won't take your girl. Not with your date coming up so soon," I added, hoping for the subject to cease before the real details came out, before my real intentions were revealed.

He huffed in acceptance, satisfied nothing had transpired between us that he should be jealous about. At least nothing he knew about…

"Alright, sorry man. I just, she means a lot to me, you know? I've worked pretty hard for her, taken a few beatings," he winked, and we both knew that it wasn't actual beatings that caused him pain, but the words she said.

I sniggered and put my head down, devouring the entire plate of steak, and some of Peter's. No matter how much I seemed to eat, my weight always stayed dangerously low.

From across a few tables, I could see her face, shining in the candle light as she laughed with her friends. I smiled, even when I wasn't with her she seemed to make me happy. She caught my eye and directed a brilliant smile in my direction, still thanking me for my performance earlier.

I winked back at her, and she blushed, although she was still smiling. She tried to mouth words to me, but I couldn't make them out, not in the noise of the hall.

Dinner was finished shortly after dessert and socialization. As all four of us, the Marauders, stood up and walked out, and soon after other Gryffindor students followed suit.

We were laughing in the hallway about some crude comment James had made about the fat lady.

As we turned the corner, Lily was standing there, and James rushed to see her. I gulped, strengthening my wall ten-fold. He gallantly grabbed her hand, but she shook it off, a look of defiance on her face. My hearing picked up and listened to their conversation.

"Just because I agreed to go to Hogsmede with you, doesn't mean I'm your girlfriend," she said, coldly.

"C'mon! It's only fair. At least until tomorrow, you should give me a fair chance," James ran his fingers through his untidy hair, something he did when he was nervous.

Whatever possessed Lily to agree was beyond me. James obviously had something that I didn't. As I watched the two walk away, hand in hand, a wave of disgust and nausea fell over me.

Soon, they were chatting as if they had been friends all their lives, and James made Lily laugh. Her beautiful, wonderful laugh.

I turned away before I could see anything else. I didn't want to.

I caught Lily's eye as I turned away, and I'm sure, even before I collected myself she could see the anguish on my face. Her's instantly turned crestfallen after looking at me. I gulped and turned away, nearly running out of the room.

I slammed the door to my dorm causing the entire room to shake. I knew I had to try to calm the shaking that ran from my scalp to my feet. It would only lead to even more uncontrollable feelings.

Why did this seem like the worst betrayal from her? Why did this hurt so much?

I had to rid of the feelings deeper than friendship before they overtook my every action, thought, emotion completely. It wouldn't be easy though…

I walked out of my dorm, feeling tormented outside. My face however, betrayed nothing. As I walked past the couch that once occupied the two love-birds. I focused my gaze on the door to the exit, ignoring my name being cried by a person I so very much wanted to take in my arms again.

But I couldn't stand the pain of everything, so I walked away. I knew what I was going to do, what I had to do in order to stay somewhat sane.

It wasn't until I reached the corridor I started running. Hard, fast. Anything to get away. The frustrated, angry yells at how I impolitely brushed passed seemed like nothing, like a boring hum in the corners of my mind. I pushed through the back doors, the doors I had used with my friends to escape late at night. Tonight would be different. I would not take their help. I was ready, I was ready to transform on my own. I didn't want, nor did I need their help.

I pushed myself faster, the grass staining my old shoes as I drew nearer to the Dark Forest. I didn't care about how dangerous it was, I could handle myself. I sprinted the last leg of my journey, into the deep, dark places the forest held. I didn't care about the dangers.

It was all me this time. And I wouldn't have it any other way.


	7. Chapter 7

**Chapter 7: James' POV**

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Where the _hell_ was he? He can't just run off like that for no good reason! Especially on a full moon night!

I was running around like a mad-man, Sirius and Peter asking everyone else. I ran into Lily's room. She and Remus were friends, right?

"Have you seen Remus?" I blurted, completely forgetting proper greetings.

She propped herself up on a pillow, her hands cupping her face, "Not even a hello?" She asked, a smirk playing on her lips.

"Please, Lily. It's important. Like life or death," her smirk immediately faded, and was replaced by a look of concern. I hated putting her through this, but I would be protecting so many more if I only knew where he was.

"I'm sorry, James. I haven't seen him since after dinner," her frown was deepening with sadness and worry. Her look was enough to make me want to stop right there and kiss her, something I had been waiting the longest time to do.

"What did you mean by life or death? Is Remus going to die? What's wrong with him?" Lily asked, her voice breaking at the possibility of his death. I wanted to answer every question truthfully, but I couldn't. I couldn't betray him like that.

"He might," I whispered, which was true. I had done some research on my own, and statistics proved that if a young werewolf didn't transform correctly, he or she could die from such immense pain.

"From what," she demanded furiously. My cryptic answers were doing absolutely nothing for her ever-burning curiosity.

"Cancer," I blurted out. Nearly at once, a story, explanation came up. Lying to her came too easy for me, and I didn't like it.

I continued, "The reason it's between life or death is that he has treatment tonight. It's of utmost importance that he gets every ounce of help he can," she finally looked satisfied, in an odd you-might-cry-your-eyes-out sort of way.

"Oh," she whispered feebly, trying to hide her tears.

I jumped up on her bed and placed a well-needed kiss on her lips. It wasn't the romantic one I had wanted to bestow upon her, but it was good enough. As we deepened, and our passion grew I knew we must part. Remus was still out there, and sunset was growing closer and closer.

I pulled my lips from hers, "Oh Lily, as much as I love being here with you, I have to go find Remus. But I swear I'll make up for it in Hogsmede," she smiled and whispered that she understood, before shooing me off to find him.

I bumped into someone that I didn't want to see. It was school policy that boys weren't allowed in girl's dorms and vice versa.

Hence, when I saw Professor Dumbledore standing in front of me, glaring down in a most angry manner, I was surprised, mortified, and shy of what could possibly be my punishment.

"Perhaps instead of spending your time dallying with a lady, you should be searching for your friend. It is of far more importance. However, you should know that I have him, in my study. He has had the potion and is completely stable. I will watch over him, seeing as you are already occupied," the disgust in his voice was evident, and I hung my head guiltily. I knew, with every bone in my body that he was right. I couldn't help but be relieved that Remus had been found.

His voice disturbed my thought process once again, "However, as to the matter of finding you here, I would say thirty points are to be deducted, and you shall _not _play at the next Quidditch match," I nodded, taking the punishment I knew I deserved.

"Now run along before you get yourself into any more trouble," he said, finishing his lecture. I ran through the corridors until I reached our own. Sirius and Peter were already in, sitting impatiently on their beds for my return.

"Dumbledore's got him. He's taken the potion. We're off duty," I said, summing up the events in three short sentences.

"You alright mate?" Sirius asked once Peter was asleep.

I stared up at our ceiling. We had enchanted it to match the time. It was a starry night tonight, with a full moon, teasing me into even more mortification.

"Not really, but it isn't anything new, so don't worry about it," I said, trying to clear my best friend's conscious. He was always more worried about me than himself. It was one of the many reasons we got along so well.

"You sure? I don't want you on a steamy hot date tomorrow all depressed," he said, teasing me and yet encouraging me to tell him what was wrong at the same time.

I laughed quietly, counting the stars that lined the inky black sky, "I'm sure. Thanks Sirius. You're not too bad a guy, you know that?"

"Finally, someone realizes," he exclaimed in a sarcastic manner. I chuckled again at his undying sense of humor.

"Sleep well James. You gotta be ready for that lovely smoocheroo you're gonna plant on Lily tomorrow!" I sniggered, remembering how we had already, as Sirius so elegantly put it, "smooched".

The one thing that shocked me was how unmemorable our first kiss was. I expected electric sparks to fly when we kissed. A chemistry lighting it up to our desire. That wasn't the case.

When I kissed her, there was nothing. No spark, nothing. I couldn't help but wonder if my body, my sub-conscious was trying to tell me something. It was definitely something to mull over.


	8. Chapter 8

**Chapter 8: Lily's POV**

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Okay, I had to admit. The last person I expected to see in my dorm at night was James Potter. But then again, surprises could be pleasant.

Earlier that day, he had demanded to hold my hand. And for whatever reason as I stared into those damn blue eyes of his, I agreed. He smiled with joy as he held it gingerly, as if he were scared I would smack him.

He steered me to the couch in the Great Room and had thanked me for giving him a chance, saying I wouldn't regret it. I said he was lucky, and he said, "I know. Far too lucky for my own good." At that, I laughed and we began chatting, asking each other the basic questions of favorites: favorite color, food, flower, animal, everything.

It wasn't until Remus passed us, so close on the couch that I felt guilty. His innocent face was twisted in anguish, a feeling I felt like I had caused. Before I could call out his name, he ran out the door. According to other people, he hadn't stopped running. But now, I knew he was safe in his dorm.

So when I saw James in my dorm I was shocked, especially at his facial expression. He was flushed with concern and worry, and I immediately suspected the worst. However, knowing James, he was probably just kidding around.

"Have you seen Remus?" he blurted anxiously. I figured he was joking, so I propped myself up, complaining about the least relevant thing possible.

"Not even a hello?" I asked, a smirk playing playfully on my lips.

He however, was in no mood for it, "Please, Lily. It's important. Like life or death," I was shocked. What had happened? My face began to pale._ Remus._

"I'm sorry, James. I haven't seen him since after dinner," my frown deepened, along with my concern. _Life or death._

"What did you mean by life or death? Is Remus going to die? What's wrong with him?" I rapid fired my questions, needing the truth, reassurance that my fears were untrue.

"He might," he whispered painfully. I could feel the tears start to well up. He was so good. He didn't deserve to die.

"From what," I demanded furiously. He was being far too cryptic for my taste. I needed to know what was wrong with him. I needed to know the truth.

"Cancer," he finally blurted out. I could feel the blood leave my body, my heart run cold. There was no way out of that.

He continued, "The reason it's between life or death is that he has treatment tonight. It's of utmost importance that he gets every ounce of help he can," I felt satisfied, surprisingly. I knew that cancer patients died a slow death. At least he would still have time.

I could feel myself getting choked up, the tears still threatening to fall. I could barely muster a single word.

"Oh," I whispered feebly, feverishly trying to hide my tears.

I wanted to be left alone, I wanted to find Remus. I didn't want to be with James. So when he jumped up on my bed and placed a rough, hard kiss on my lips, I was disgusted. At first anyway. Then, I sort of got lost in the kiss. It was my first one, but judging by James' skill level, I guessed it wasn't his first. I didn't mind though- I quite enjoyed his expertise. By the time he stopped, I was wishing he wouldn't.

"Oh Lily, as much as I love being here with you, I have to go find Remus. But I swear I'll make up for it in Hogsmede," I did my best to calm him, to assure him that it was alright he had to leave. I shooed him off in a playful, but resolute manner.

I heard him stumble into someone, and raised voices in the hallway. I worried for a minute about him getting in trouble, but then my thoughts returned to Remus.

Needless to say, I didn't sleep well that night. So when it came time for my date with James in Hogsmede, I was exhausted. To make matters worse, Remus hadn't returned from his treatment. He was still in the infirmary or supposedly there. The nurse wasn't allowing any visitors.

James grabbed my hand, and I noticed that his was sweaty. He was smiling goofily. Once I would have laughed out loud at his ridiculously happy expression, but now it made my stomach flip in an unfamiliar, uncomfortable way. He greeted me and led me in the direction of Zonko's Toy Shop. I couldn't help it-I snickered. It wasn't the most romantic date by far. It was so typical-James.

"I know what you're thinking, but please. Have a little more faith in me," he said, trying to explain himself.

I shrugged. I wasn't exactly expecting anything for him to be a gentleman.

So, I was completely shocked when he opened the door to Zonko's and led me to the back. My heartbeat quickened, with James, I _was_ scared of what would happen. There was no supervision anymore, and it was strictly off limits to be alone with the opposite gender without a chaperone.

He opened up a small trap door, and allowed me to enter first, adding to my shock. His hand stopped sweating, which I was very thankful for.

Set up underneath the door was a table, lit up with multiple candles, that looked like they had been burning a while. It was in Italian style, a red-checked table cloth covering a small round table. The food looked delicious.

We pulled my chair out for me, and I blushed as he purposely placed his hand on the small of my back, guiding me into my seat. He smiled a genuinely happy smile, and sat down in his own seat, right next to mine.

He smirked as I attempted to roll the long noodles onto my fork, and laughed out loud at my facial expression, which I'm sure was a mixture of annoyance and agitation.

He said very softly, "Here, let _me_ help you." He grabbed my hand in his, and demonstrated how to properly roll the spaghetti onto a fork. It had not been what I was expecting. He was actually pretty smooth, making "moves" in a way that wasn't obtrusive.

I laughed as he fed the spaghetti to me. I gladly took it though, and realized this would probably not be the last time he would feed me.

"So…?" James was trying to start conversation. Though I could tell he was content just looking at me and feeding me, he wanted to get to know a deeper me. I smiled at this discovery.

"Well, as you have already interrogated me, asking all my favorites, I'm afraid there is no more you could know about me." I teased.

"I am sure that you're joking! You happen to be one of the most mysterious people I know." He said, his eyes cast down onto his untouched food.

I laughed at his uneasiness, he was the stereotypical boy. He was so giddy and embarrassed all the time. Especially in front of the girl he liked.

He looked up and asked a question I was not expecting, "Why do you call me "Potter"?" He asked, probing for an answer.

It was my turn to pull my eyes away from his in embarrassment, "Promise you won't get mad?" I asked pleadingly. I was really beginning to like him, and I was worried about the effect my answer would have on him.

He chuckled a little and stated, "Lily, I swear. You could have said you murdered someone and I wouldn't be mad at you. Especially not now." He finished his speech and blushed slightly, before awaiting my answer. He took my hand again and squeezed it in reassurance.

I took a deep breath and stated, "I call_ed_ you Potter because I thought it would piss you off. And I hoped that you would leave me alone if I would get you mad enough."

He was staring at me, trying to cover his facial expression of anger. Once his countenance was under complete control, he said in a playful tone, "It's funny how you knew me even before I even talked to you. You have no idea how much hearing you call me Potter pissed me off. But I thought it was great that you had the balls to do it."

I laughed at this and soon his eyes were lit up in a way that I wasn't sure if I liked. His lips were pulled up into a smirk, and leaned forward, towards my own. I gulped as my heart rate quickened and my breathing hitched. I was anticipating to be kissed, and I was. This time, I was looking forward to it, unlike the last time.

He touched his lips to mine in a soft, chaste way. It was nothing like our first kiss. And I was so happy, I wrapped my arms around his neck and deepened it. He obliged happily, wrapping his hands around my waist and pulling me closer.

We broke apart, gasping for breath. He was smiling so large that I couldn't help but smile back. We stayed, embracing for another while. I eventually leaned my head against his shoulder and he rested his head atop mine. I was smiling still, feeling content just to be held.

Just to be held?

So was it the fact that it was _James_ that was holding me, or that just someone was holding me?

I pulled back from him and smiled uncertainly. I then said, in hopes to get away and think, "I think it's nearly time to go."

He kissed me once more and said, "I agree. We'll leave right away, but you go out first. I'll follow behind. It would look bad if we were, you know, caught." He finished, opening the trap door that led to the basement.

"You'll have to tell me how you knew this was here." I stated playfully just as I was leaving.

"I have to tell you how I know a lot of things." He said, just as teasing.

I laughed, closing the door fully and walking out. I was feeling something I hadn't completely expected at the beginning of the date. I was feeling…light. I was free of problems, sure of everything, and happy. James had given me a new confidence that I hadn't really ever felt.

I sighed unhappily as we returned to Hogsmede. James was a great influence on me- I felt happier just by his mere presence. Sensing my happiness, which I'm sure he figured was due to him, he grabbed my hand and brought me closer. I giggled like the typical high school girl. It was so childish, but since he was my first boyfriend, I couldn't help but be a little giddy.


	9. Chapter 9

**Chapter 9: Lily's POV**

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The first few days as James Potter's girlfriend had been a mixture of ups and downs. We had a never ending chemistry that always seemed to bubble into debates and other enlightening conversations. We had completely different views of the world and our personalities couldn't have been more opposite.

However.

James made me feel…invincible. I walked around with an air of confidence, something I had been lacking before. He supported me in all my academics, just as I supported him in his Quidditch. It was so empowering to have someone wanting your eternal happiness, someone you had complete control over. It made me feel strong.

However.

Remus. He had been a constant nag in the back of my mind, reminding me of the feelings I had once felt for him. A week seemed so long ago. Now, I was damn sure I was falling in love with James Potter. And I was damn sure he felt the same about me. The only problem was, I still felt some sort of allegiance to Remus, and whenever James and I would hold hands or kiss, I would feel a slight nagging feeling. I was worried about him. He still hadn't returned from his "treatment".

Another thing was bothering me. I had yet to meet James' friends. Within the hour of us returning from Hogsmede, I made him known to all my friends, but he still hadn't returned the favor. Sure I had _heard _of them, and been in classes with them, but I had never really _met_ them.

We were talking about the latest prank he was going to pull with his friends. Within the few days I had shared with him and had gotten to know him better, I realized that all the mischief going on around school was his doing, his masterminding. I thought it was courageous and sexy for him to be so daring.

Once we reached the safety of the Gryffindor common room, where things could be discussed more openly, he started a conversation I was _very _interested in.

"So I want you to meet my friends?" He spoke the statement as if it were a question. I realized then he was asking my permission.

"Are you asking me if I want to, or telling me?" I asked right back, firing at him.

"Telling you." He decided after a moment of thinking.

"Why'd you wait so long?" I spoke of my later thoughts, and how I had felt.

"'Cause I just wanted to make sure. That, you know, things were going to work out between us. I didn't want you to judge me based off my friends' stories until you knew me."

I completely accepted that as an answer and allowed him to call his two friends in the room. The third, I noticed, was absent.

"Lily. This is Sirius and Peter. Remus is still recovering from his…ah…treatment." He stumbled over the last few words, as if he had to remember what he had said to me.

"Oh, and Sirius and Peter, this is Lily."

Sirius was just an inch taller than James at 6'0". His hair was coal black, like James', and thick and wavy. It was long, reaching his shoulders. His eyes were dark and lively, and his mischievous grin was contagious. He was like James in that your mood improved greatly just by being near him. They could've been brothers.

Peter was another story. I truly didn't understand how he became one of the Marauders. James was the leader, and Sirius his best friend. Although shy, Remus definitely deserved to be one of them. But Peter had no brains, talent, or looks.

He was short, barely taller than me, and plump. His mousy-brown hair was thin and oily. His eyes were a flat brown, and beady. I was uneasy around him. I didn't trust him the way I could easily trust Remus, Sirius, or James.

"Nice to finally meet you, Lily," said Sirius grinning. "We've only been hearing about you since…well the first time James laid eyes on you."

Peter looked at James eagerly to see his reaction. James looked unembarrassed. "Yeah pretty much," he said, unashamed.

"I must say, I've been very eager for this day to come," said Sirius. "I've always been curious if your personality was as lovely as your-"

"SIRIUS!" James cut him off. He blushed. "I'm sorry, Lily," he said. "Sirius has tendency to judge girls not on personality, but on how nice he thinks their butt looks."

"Ah, I see. So you're a butt guy, Sirius?" I teased. He laughed. "And James, I'm pretty sure you're just as guilty as Sirius when it comes to butt-rating."

Now everyone laughed, Peter included. "I think I like you, Lily," said Sirius. "Your brains are quite possibly as big as your-"

"SIRIUS!" James yelled.

Sirius grinned. "So, what do you say you lend your brilliant mind to us for a few hours? We need an idea for a way to prank Norman Hycliff…"

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

A few hours later, I was in the library reading up on the book Remus had suggested for me. It included some potions I had never heard of before. They were all very complex, but all of them seemed useful, either for serious uses or humorous ones. As I read about one that would make the drinker feel as if they were being relentlessly tickled, I chuckled and understood Remus' fondness for the book.

I was still chuckling quietly to myself when a familiar voice spoke my name.

"Fancy seeing you here, Lily," said my best friend, Severus Snape. "I wouldn't have thought you'd be here-I thought you'd be somewhere more _private _doing _private_ things with your new boyfriend. Apparently your new boyfriend was something too _private _to share even with your _best friend. _Although you had no problems flaunting your new relationship around everyone else in the school. That doesn't make complete sense to me, but then again, if James Potter clouded my thoughts every moment of the day, it might start to."

I blushed profusely. I had completely forgotten to tell Sev, I was so wrapped up in my thoughts of James and Remus. In fact, the last thing I'd said to him was that I _wasn't _going out with James. Now it seemed like I was deliberately lying to him.

"Sev, I'm so sorry!" I exclaimed. "Honestly, my thoughts were completely else ware. I wasn't even thinking about you-" I cut myself off, cringing. Severus' eyes flashed. I noticed they were practically the same color as Sirius', but while Sirius' eyes contained humor Severus' held hurt, and anger. "I'm sorry," I murmured. "That didn't come out right. What I meant was-"

"Save it, Lily," Sev said icily. "I think I prefer the silence to whatever you have to say." And he walked off. I sighed, and plopped my face between my hands.


	10. Chapter 10

**Chapter 10: Remus' POV**

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I groaned as I arose from a restless sleep. Being a wolf allowed little to no rest, as the pain of the transformation keeping you awake even when you are exhausted.

Hence I got to sleep through the entire trip to Hogsmede and therefore Lily and James' date. It was an event Iwanted to miss. This was the whole reason I had transformed in the forest, so I could be away from all the gossip until I recovered.

However, when I woke up, I was not in the Dark Forest, but in the warm, inviting side room of Dumbledore's office. He was sitting across from me, and at a sign of my life, he smiled and wished me a good morning.

I groaned, my jaw bones creaking in protest as I tried to speak. My entire body was still rearranging itself back to human form. It was like the start and finish to a race. The start was hard, you were always cramping up and slowing down when you didn't want to, and the finish was even more painful, the stress of the entire run finally taking it's toll when you want it least.

Needless to say, I was in a great deal of pain. In fact, upon hearing my cry for "help", Dumbledore scurried out of the room and returned with a small vial.

"Now Remus, I have researched quite a bit, and I seem unable to find any potions or remedies to reverse your growth. However, I have a potion that can _stop _growth. I think that the least amount of bone your body has to rearrange the better. So, drink up," he said merrily.

I gulped down the disgusting liquid. It felt like tar, dripping down my throat, throughout my entire body. I could literally feel the growth plates solidifying in their place, and the growth hormones destroyed. It was quite the uncomfortable process.

But now, I would forever remain at my gangly height of 6'6", a giant to Lily's petite 5'2" frame.

Lily.

She seemed to be entering my mind when I least wanted her to. I instantly shook all thoughts aside and faced Dumbledore, sitting up slowly and carefully, doing my best not to disturb any bones that had not quite fully healed.

He held out a cup of hot tea, black and sharp. As it entered my mouth, the taste was bitter, almost as if I was drinking Hydrogen Peroxide. Once it settled however, a warming feeling took place throughout my body, helping to ease the muscles and bones.

"That ought to help. It loosens and removes some stress. And I daresay you have much need of loosening and removing stress," he said as he chuckled.

I opened my mouth to speak, to thank him once again for how kind he was. Dumbledore had taken me under his wing, and I was eternally thankful for that.

"No need to thank me. Your condition is not even imposing on my schedule. Quite surprising actually. And it is no problem to _want _to do something for a boy that deserves it," he said, winking at me happily.

I opened my mouth to speak again, to inquire after James and Lily, he silenced me with his own words, as if he were reading my mind, "They are together. They enjoyed their date and are now boyfriend and girlfriend. However, I do not think it will last long. They are constantly quarreling, and it hasn't even been a week," he mumbled, mainly to himself.

"A week?!" I exclaimed, gagging on both the tea and my own bile.

"Yes my dear boy. You should have seen your condition, good Lord you were a mess! You were in the infirmary days after your transformation to help you heal. It was just yesterday you were cleared to come up here with me. You have been unconscious for nearly six days," he finished, nonchalantly.

I growled and dropped my eyes, angry at my own self for allowing such a thing to ever happen to me.

"Remus, please, do not punish yourself. It is not your fault in the slightest. Oh, and everyone is under the impression you have cancer, hence the days you are absent, and your late night "treatments" etc.," he added.

"Cancer? Couldn't they have been a _little _more creative?" I snorted.

He chuckled at my attitude, apparently finding my pessimism amusing, "You'd be surprised at how hard it was for them to come up with _that._"

I laughed, knowing how naïve and sometimes ignorant my friends could be. "I believe you, I am not surprised,"

Dumbledore then dropped his voice, "However, there is someone you need to speak to. Lily Evans believes you are going to die. Thanks to James," he grumbled, clearly something was bothering him.

"What do you mean, Professor?"

"I mean that James was caught in the girls' dorms. Specifically Lily Evan's dorm. It was after that visit that she believed you dying. That was where the cancer rumor originated," he said. Yet again, waves of disgust and nausea fell over me. As much as I knew James had staked his claim, I wanted Lily as mine.

"Remus, please. There is still time. You _must _be patient. Good things come to those who wait," he reminded me, trying to ease my worry.

I sighed, knowing he was completely correct, "I'm sorry Professor, it's just-"

"I know dear boy. Love is irrational," Dumbledore finished for me.

I sniggered at how correct that statement was. Love was the most irrational feeling I had ever encountered. It was far more confusing that any form of anger or sadness.

"You have no idea how right you are, Professor," I said, trying to lighten the mood.

He chuckled and stood up, opening the door to his office, "Now that you are better, I officially clear you to go about your duties as a student. Have a good day, and remember to?"

"Be patient," I said, reminding him I wasn't as ridiculous as some of my friends.

"Good boy! Now run along before you miss anymore school. Come to me if you need anything, and let me know if that potion works," I nodded my thanks. He already knew how grateful I was.

I walked out of his office, still in a great deal of discomfort, but feeling better than I did after any transformation.

I knew where I had to go, and what I had to do.

I rounded the corner, and entered the Gryffindor great room, where I found Lily and James cuddled up together, kissing and laughing, obviously reminiscing their date.

I sighed, knowing I should never take Lily away from James, especially when they were so occupied.

I scribbled a note in my awful script and left it on her bed in her dorm, which was thankfully empty.

_Meet me in the library. You deserve an explanation._

_-RL_

I hoped she would be there soon, so I wouldn't have to wait much longer.

I sat down in my favorite couch, awaiting her arrival. I don't know how many books I went through, but I judged that as teachers made their nightly rounds, I had been there quite a while.

Just when all hope seemed lost, the library door cracked open, and Lily Evans walked through. She was wearing her pajamas, wool pants that fell to the floor, designed with stars and clouds. Her shirt was a simple v-neck white t-shirt. I thought she looked gorgeous.

I stood up and waved her in my direction, she nearly seemed to run to me with excitement.

She reached our corridor and sat down, her arms crossed in denial, awaiting my explanation.

As I shook my hair out of my face I said, "I think you deserve to know. Everything." I sighed as I wondered where to began my story.


	11. Chapter 11

**Chapter 11: Remus' POV**

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"You might want to sit down," I told Lily. "This will take a while."

She sat down awkwardly, as far away from me as she could sit. I frowned inwardly, wondering at her behavior. I knew I had probably confused her though. I sighed and began.

"First of all, I want to begin with saying that I don't have cancer." She exhaled in relief at this. "However, I am a werewolf." I felt that bluntness was the best way to go about this.

Her lovely eyes widened in shock. "WHAT?!? How is that even possible?"

"When I was a young boy, I was bitten by Fenrir Greyback, a werewolf. You may have heard of him; he transforms young wizards and kidnaps them, training them in the ways of the werewolves. He teaches them to believe all wizards are awful. I knew otherwise. My parents were both wizards and did not allow me to go. They protected me from him my entire life. However, I knew school would be a problem. In fact, I thought my wizarding life was over, but Dumbledore kindly allowed me in. He set up ways for me to cope. You know the Whomping Willow? Planted purely for me. Under it is a passage that leads to the Shrieking Shack, and that's where I go when I need to transform. The howls the villagers hear are…uh…actually me howling." It was embarrassing to me for her to have her know those things about me. She was the first person I had told since James, Sirius, and Peter. And that was five years ago.

She was still sitting, frozen in disbelief. I continued. I was already in far too deep to stop, and knowing her, she wouldn't want me to. Her curiosity would eventually get the better of her.

"That's why I'm so huge. Being a werewolf has a few side effects. You see, the teeth of a werewolf are coated with DNA, a venom-like substance. Once it penetrates the skin and enters the bloodstream, it's impossible to stop. It warps your human body, the DNA from the werewolf mixing with your own. The werewolf gene causes the overproduction of growth hormones. The bigger the better is what they say in my world." I smirked at the inside joke I had heard at one of many conventions I had been to.

"Hence, I'm huge. Dumbledore just recently gave me this potion that supposedly halts growth. I could literally feel the growth plates being frozen and the growth hormones destroyed. It was quite the experience." This time, I let out a small chuckle. She was staring at me, astonished at both my story, and the fact I could laugh about it.

"Any questions?" I asked pleadingly, hoping she wouldn't think me a monster and forever shun me from her. That would be my last straw. I doubted I could last through that.

I began to fear that she would do just that. Her face seemed frozen in a mask of shock. Her mouth was dropped, her eyebrows raised, and her eyes as wide as saucers. She was speechless

"Remus," was all she said. Her voice was filled with emotion. "Oh Remus! I can't believe you've lived like this for five years! I can't imagine having a secret like that, and having no one to turn to…"

"Well, I actually have had people to talk to," I said. "All my friends know. They figured it out at the end of our first year. In fact, they've found a way to accompany me when I transform. You see, only humans are in danger near a werewolf. Animals are fine. If they were in the form of an animal during my transformation-"

She gasped. "You don't mean they're Animingi, do you?"

"Do you remember the book I was checking out, that day I caught you?" I smiled at the memory.

Another gasp. "Werewolves and Animingi! Of course!" She was quiet for a moment. "I won't lecture you on how dangerous the Animingi process is to attempt for a bunch of fifteen year olds because between you, James, and Sirius I'm sure nothing went wrong. I just…I feel so bad for you, Remus. Even with your friends knowing, you must have felt so alone. You must _be _so alone…"

I looked into her eyes. She blushed and looked away. "I wish I could help you," she murmured.

"You already have," I said hoarsely. She was the first person since my friends that actually understood, and who wasn't judging me.

"No," she said, meeting my eyes again. "I wish I could help you…with your…isolation. But I can't," she said with purpose. "I have James now."

James. How had I forgotten about that? My heart fell to my feet. I wished it would fall out of my body altogether and spare me the pain. "Oh. That's right." And then awkward silence followed.

"How are things going with James?" I asked, sure my voice would betray everything. But I had to know.

Her eyes immediately cast down, away from me. She spoke as if it pained her to say this to me. It was the last thing I wanted. "Great actually. We get along pretty well. I met Sirius and Peter the other day. Sirius is pretty cool. A little sex-crazed, but I like him. Peter's a little weird though." She said, wrinkling her nose in disgust. I laughed, and from the way she looked at me, I could tell that she wasn't expecting that. However, I was sure she wasn't expecting any of the things I had told her.

"You never cease to amaze me, Remus Lupin." Her eyes showed the truth of her words.

I chuckled again, and stood up. "Well, I don't want to keep you from sleep any longer. You have enough to mull over for your entire life." I led her out of the library.

She turned to me, right before she left the room and said, with tears shining in her eyes, "I'm sorry. I'll find a way to help you. I promise." I gulped as I let her out of the room.

I shuffled back to the couch. I wasn't ready to return to the dorm, in fact I wasn't sure if I was ready to return to my life. I was content just to sit in my favorite place till I fell asleep.

Her words echoed in my mind as I dozed off.

_I'll find a way to help you._

_* * * * * * * * * * * * * * *_

On my return from the library with Lily, I ran into Sirius. Or rather, he ran into me. Sirius was standing in the way of our dorm, with purpose, his arms crossed.

"You have some _serious_ explaining to do, dude." Sirius began, his eyes accusing and mad.

"What are you talking about?" I murmured with no resolve. I didn't have the heart to lie to him anymore.

"You know _exactly _what I am talking about Remus! You held Lily, after James asked her out. And now, you're having late night talks in the library! I mean, come on! How many hearts are you trying to break?!" I could tell Sirius was mad. He spoke dangerously low, yet his voice rose with every word.

I sighed. I had already given plenty of explanations tonight, and I wanted sleep. He was obviously forgetting how just a little while ago I had been recovering from an extremely painful transformation.

"I'm not breaking any hearts, Sirius. Lily knows about me. I'm her friend. That's all. End of story." I said, swiping my arm in order to get through to our dorm door. He didn't even budge. His face was a mixture of shock and extreme anger. The shock from the fact I had told her, and the anger at a misunderstanding. He wouldn't let me pass, and I knew he didn't intend to until I said what he wanted to hear.

"I could easily kill you, you know." I growled at him through between my teeth.

"I know. But you wouldn't." Sirius said, playfully returning to his usual mood. He suddenly turned serious again (as serious as Sirius ever was) as he said, "I don't believe you about Lily. I think you are more than friends. Now explain. I want the whole truth, and nothing but the truth so help you God." He smirked at his own joke, which relaxed the mood a little. I was in no mood for joking however, and if he wanted the truth, then dammit I was going to give it to him.

"You have to swear on our friendship you won't tell James," I began. Seeing his nod, hesitant but still there, I continued, "Lily and I have been friends for a while. I caught her once when she nearly crushed her face on the stairs. That was when I felt…something more for her." His face darkened and immediately I explained myself. "Don't worry. I would _never _do anything like that to James. I swear on my grave, and everyone else's that _nothing_ has happened between us." His face lightened considerably.

"However, when she said she would go out with James, she was crying. I was just there to comfort her, " I barked a painful laugh and said, "It seemed at first like she was using me. I could never fully tell what she wanted. But tonight she made it quite clear. She told me 'I have James now.' Don't worry, I didn't try to force her into anything."

At this, I sighed, and continued. "You want the truth about how I feel at the moment. I'll enlighten you. I'm not angry with Lily about her decision, for I know that James is probably much more appealing than I. That being said, I do feel quite a bit of jealousy towards James, and a slight bit of bitterness. I had no idea I could feel this way towards a person besides myself. It's a strange and frustrating phenomena, but it's nothing unmanageable for me- I am an expert at hiding my true feelings. I will hide my envy from James, for he is a brother to me. And I will hide my feelings from Lily, for I really and truly love her. I would never try to compromise my relationship with either of them. But I do want you to know that Lily and I are still going to be friends. I can accept that she is with James romantically, but I want to be near her in any way that I possibly can."

Sirius was silent for a moment, obviously deliberating over all that I had just said. As much as I feared his reaction, I felt so relieved to finally be able to tell _someone._ My attention was grabbed as he cleared his throat, "Damn. I don't even know what to say."

"Just say what you think. People have hidden the truth from me for too long. I've hidden the truth from them for too long, as well. I'd like a new, more truthful life. It felt really good to get that off my back," I smiled.

"You really want me to tell you what I think?" He asked, his eyebrows raised in disbelief. I nodded eagerly. "You have one _fucked up _life," he said, chuckling. I couldn't help but laugh with him. Soon, we were doubled over, and I could remember why I had made friends with him.

"But on a serious note," he said, finally sobered. "I really don't know what to tell you. I completely understand your situation, and I feel bad I ever accused you now. It wouldn't be right for you to split up James and Lily, but it also isn't right for you to have to watch and suffer." He said the last part sympathetically, looking at me with eyes full of apologies. "I have no idea what to say, bro."

I laughed. "That's a first." He grinned. And then sighed.

"Well, I guess the only thing I can say is wait it out. I like Lily, and I obviously like James, and they are fairly well suited for each other. However, I think Lily might prove too much of a challenge for James. He might not want to share the spotlight. Or…" Sirius trailed off.

"What?" I prodded him.

Sirius sighed. "Quite frankly, I don't think James appreciates what he has in Lily. And though he is undoubtedly brilliant, he's not always the most sensible of people. It's not a stretch for me to imagine him doing something stupid that will screw things up with Lily."

I cringed. I didn't want to imagine Lily hurting.

"So I guess what I should say is, wait it out. For one reason or another, it'll end. You need to make sure you're 100% there for her when she comes to you crying and broken-hearted."

I nodded. "Thanks, Sirius."

He grinned his classic grin. "No problem, Remus. I'm sorry I ever accused you."

We walked into the dorm room we shared with James and Peter. Within five minutes, Sirius was fast asleep. I stayed up a little while longer, thinking of the conversations I'd had that day. And then, I finally drifted off to sleep, mentally, physically, and emotionally exhausted.


	12. Chapter 12

**Chapter 12: Lily's POV**

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This was not an easy time. On one hand, I had James, who made me feel like a completely new person. He was truly the greatest boyfriend I could ever want. On the other hand, I had Remus, the person that reminded me of who I was, of the old me. He trusted me completely, and the fact I had hurt him by dating James was hard to swallow. He had done his best to hide his pain when we were talking, but I read through him easily.

It proposed a problem. What was I to do? I couldn't betray James like that, and I couldn't play with Remus. And I certainly didn't want to choose between them.

I had to find a happy medium, a way I could help Remus and stay true to James. Of course, my Sev problem was yet another thorn in my side. I knew he wouldn't want to be anywhere near me as long as I was with James, and I knew he wouldn't be thrilled with Remus either. It posed a serious problem. I didn't want to end my friendship with Severus, but there was a very obvious difference in the way I felt when I was with him as opposed to the way I felt with James or Remus. It wasn't anything personal, but with Sev I was a self-conscious geek. With James, I was confident; on top of the world. With Remus, I could fly.

I was deep in thought when a familiar arm wrapped around me.

"As adorable as you are, with your lower lip stuck out like that, your eyebrows all scrunched, I want to take you to the Great Hall. All of the others are waiting there for me. They wanted you to come on our latest 'adventure'." James said, smiling happily. He loved how well I got along with his friends. It was encouraging to him.

"I'd love to!" I said merrily, doing my best to cloud my thoughts with him. He saw right through me.

"Lily, what's wrong?" He murmured, stroking my hair and bringing me close to his chest.

"Nothing, I was just thinking." I answered truthfully.

"You're not having regrets are you?!" He jumped back, his eyes wide with hurt and surprise. I gasped in shock as well, he couldn't have been farther off base.

"No! No! God no! Never!" I yelled, rushing back to him, wrapping my arms back around his waist. I waited for him to calm down. He wrapped his arms around my shoulder and kissed my hair. I sighed with content. He was so great.

"You scared me there. I thought you…" He gulped, unable to finish his sentence.

"No. I like you. You have no idea, James." I murmured into his chest, scared to bring my eyes to his at my confession. He sensed this and pushed me away slightly. He brought his finger under my chin, forcing me to look straight in his eyes. I'm not sure what he saw, but whatever he did, it encouraged him to kiss me gently.

He pulled away and started leading me towards the Great Hall. He held my hand, and I was blushing furiously. Whenever we kissed, my heart rate seemed to increase and I couldn't think straight. James was incredibly smug when I shared this with him, before whispering "good" and kissing me again.

We reached the Great Hall, and sure enough, Sirius, Peter, and Remus were all sitting there, awaiting our arrival. My eyes immediately strayed to Remus, and when he saw our hand intertwined, he looked down and away. I avoided looking at the Slytherin table, where I could feel a pair of dark eyes penetrating me.

We neared the table and they all greeted us happily, even Remus. Peter acknowledged my presence by nodding his head. Sirius quickly whispered something to Remus, and they both laughed. Then Sirius jumped up and hugged me like an older brother. Remus did the same, hugging me. His was with far more feeling. A familiar spark ran through my body when we touched, and I laughed at all their greetings.

"So you're probably wondering why we brought you here, Lily." Sirius began jovially.

"In fact I am!" I answered extremely sarcastic.

"Well see, a few Gryffindor seven-years have asked for our help. Maybe in the Muggle world you've heard of 'Senior Pranks'?" Sirius started, grinning mischievously.

"Yes." I said, grinning just as mischievously as him. His moods were so contagious.

"Well, your prank on Norman Hycliff went so well, we want your help engineering the latest senior prank!" Sirius finished nearly yelling with excitement.

"SIRIUS!" James barked, growing angrier. He didn't want anyone to know. James spoke, addressing me, for everyone else already knew: "The seven-years want the prank to be on the Slytherins, and the teachers. Any ideas?"

"Well, I think I've got an idea that would work…" I began, grinning. "Of course, it would include some sneaking around late at night, into places students aren't allowed to go. We'd probably be breaking about a dozen school rules," I said. From the eager looks on their faces, I had them completely sold already.

"It involves a potion I read about in a certain book by an anonymous writer…"


	13. Chapter 13

**Chapter 13: James' POV**

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I was so proud. Lily was one of the most brilliant people I had ever met. And this prank, for sure, would be put down in Hogwarts history.

A month passed. That was how long it took to be sure everything was set and fool proof.

Lily, Sirius, and Remus had made the potion, while Peter and I inspected the kitchens (under the invisibility cloak of course). We discovered where the vats of drink were for the teachers and the Slytherins, and once the potion was done, we all returned later and replaced the juice with the potion. I couldn't wait to see the looks on their faces! It was all so perfect, it seemed like nothing could go wrong.

This ingenious plan was all Lily's idea. Oh, how proud I was to be her boyfriend! Never in a million years would I think that I would be this lucky. She was truly the most brilliant and amazing person I had ever met.

She had been reading a potions book prior to dating me (she read this for fun. Who reads potions books for fun?) and she'd discovered a potion that can make random body parts swell, turn different colors, or even transform into animal parts. The more the drinker disliked the potion creator(s), the worse off they'd look. If they were fond of the potion maker, all that would happen was some swelling. If they felt anything between indifference and slight dislike to the maker, they would also get some discoloration. If the drinker truly hated the maker, they would grow animal parts. I could only pray that Snivelly would get all three…

But then again, I knew he could never hate Lily. Although, ever since Sirius decided to play that _ridiculous _prank on him, and I had to save him, he's hated all of us.

I was so excited for the feast that morning. We were all bouncing with excitement. We were all awaiting the moment of swelling, and the laughter coming from all over. Hopefully though, we wouldn't get in too much trouble. Everyone would know it was us.

I picked Lily up that morning in the common room. She was looking especially pretty today, her green eyes sparkling with a powerful mischief, that I knew I loved. A daring girl was _such _a turn-on for me.

I swept her up in a hug and placed a small kiss on her lips. A shiver ran down my spine at her touch, but I had to pull away. My friends were waiting for us to go down to the Great Room, and see how our plan was going to work out.

She murmured a small hello, her cheeks flushed from my touch. I smiled back and entwined our fingers together. We returned to my friends who were all grinning. They were obviously excited for our prank, but not excited about our hold up.

"About time. We figured you were going to be making out for the entire breakfast time." Sirius said, scoffing at us in a playful manner.

"Too bad. I needed to give Lily a proper greeting." I said, firing right back at him. He simply shrugged and led our way down the staircases.

We finally reached the Great Hall. Half of the kids were sitting down, but soon everyone was in their seats. All the students were waiting anxiously for Dumbledore's morning speech so they could begin eating. I could barely contain my laughter, and I was shifting uncomfortably in my seat, about ready to burst with excitement.

It was finally time to eat. The goblets were out and the students began drinking from them. Remus, Sirius, Peter, Lily, and I were grinning like a bunch of banshees. We looked shiftily around and could barely control our sniggers. We still hadn't taken a drink or a bite of food, as we were all scared we would choke when we began laughing.

It wasn't long before the effects set in on the unfortunate people. It was the teachers first, they had obviously sipped before Dumbledore had spoken. It was hilarious, watching the arms, legs, noses swell. I was pleased to see that none of them had changed color. That meant none of them really hated us.

McGonagall's lips, which were usually pursed and thin, had swelled massively. Professor Flitwick's legs grew enormously, tripling his height. A few teachers who disliked Sirius were sporting purple hands or cheeks, and that was pretty amusing, but the best by far was Dumbledore.

He was the last teacher to be affected. But when he did, it was _hilarious_. His chest grew massively, expanding and growing large and round. They looked like…boobs! Our mouths dropped in humor and shock, and in that moment, we were sure it would go down in history forever.

The entire school cracked up, some were laughing so hard that they were crying. All five us joined in and couldn't help but noticing Dumbledore chuckling as well. He was, however, looking straight at us. He knew it was us.

It wasn't till they noticed the Slytherins effects that the laughing came to an all-time high. The decibels coming from that room had been enough to burst ear-drums. Everyone was laughing except the Slytherins. No one could blame them though, I would be slightly pissed off as well. A few of the Slytherins had gotten the worst part of the potion-the animal transformations.

After Snape had developed an animal characteristic, he stood up and screamed at the top of his lungs, "Look at what they did!" He was pointing directly at us. All laughter suddenly ceased.

Dumbledore stood up, his…new boobs sagging and swaying with every movement he made. He spoke, commanding the attention. As much as Snivellus wouldn't have liked to admit it, he was doing his best to hide the laughter in his voice.

"As you all can see…there has been quite a prank pulled. Have no fear though, it was caused by a potion who's remedy can be made rather quickly. You are not to be embarrassed though, as you can see, some of us were affected in a most amusing manner," he said, chuckling as he looked to his new appendages, "Some of us were obviously affected worse than others, but it can all be cured." He was looking directly at Snape, who's face had gone maroon in his embarrassment.

"I shall have one of the teachers contact Madame Pomfrey immediately. As much as I wish I could do it, these…additions to my physical structure are most uncomfortable when I walk. Professor McGonagall? Perhaps you could do it?" Dumbledore asked, his blue eyes twinkling with humor. She only nodded, blushing profusely as she walked out of the great doors, holding her lips with her hands to make sure they didn't tear.

The hall fell silent, and all eyes turned toward the five of us. Remus' were immediately cast down, while Lily blushed a deep scarlet, matching her hair. Peter looked completely indifferent, while Sirius and I were smirking proudly, admiring our accomplishment.

Snivelly stood up again, and at that moment I noticed a rather large beak protruding from where his nose was supposed to be. Everyone laughed at this sight, because his nose was large and beakish to begin with. He was, however, also covered in multi-colored polka-dots, and one his legs had grown so much that he had to balance on that one, the other dangling in midair.

I laughed out loud at his sight. I was the only one, because obviously they were all awaiting some pity story from him.

He glared at us, shooting daggers as best he could. But in his current condition, it was impossible to take him seriously. He spoke, low with uncontrolled anger. "Headmaster? What sort of punishments will be made?" He was grinning devilishly now. He was probably hoping that we would get expelled or something along those lines.

Dumbledore sighed, "Quite frankly, I am amused at this. Whoever had the brainpower to come up with this is most clever. I give them full credit, and commend them. However, it would be violating many codes the school has for the perpetrators to go unpunished," Snape looked triumphant, and I could see all my friends, and Lily's face fall. "The perpetrators will be sentenced to a week's worth of detention. Except," he said dramatically, "for the original mastermind behind this prank. Who was it?"

I nodded to Lily brightly, trying to encourage her. She was obviously timid, and wanted to share the credit with all of us. She slowly raised her hand and Dumbledore was smiling, obviously smug.

"Miss Evans? Really? That was quite the stunt! I commend you. Now who were your accomplices?" He asked, his voice lowering.

Lily immediately shut her eyes. She never wanted to rat us out.

I was surprised when Remus stood up, to his full height, and said, "I was an accomplice."

"Remus, I am rather surprised you would admit that," Dumbledore said, though his eyes were still shining with amusement and pride. Whatever our punishment would be, it couldn't have been that bad.

Sirius stood up next, not nearly as brave as Remus and added, "So was I."

Peter was next, and he was rather indifferent. He didn't care what trouble he got into, as long as we were his friends, "Me too," he grumbled.

I was the last to stand. I didn't know why. It could have been I was reluctant for the punishment, but that couldn't have been it. I was used to a weeks worth of detention. So what was it that was bothering me so much?

"James! Why am I not surprised it involved the four of you?" Dumbledore said playfully. Snivelly cleared his throat meaningfully, and Dumbledore sighed. "Well, I suppose you must be punished. James and Peter, you'll be scrubbing out cauldrons, and a few toilets as well. Sirius and Remus, you'll be helping organize and clean books in the library. Lily, you are free to go," he said brightly, "Now, is everyone happy?" He asked again, directing his question straight at Snivelly. He nodded slowly and carefully, as though he didn't want anyone to miss his gesture of "mercy".

Once the counter-remedy had been handed out and the effects wore off, talk began buzzing immediately. About Lily's plan, how Lily had formulated it, how Lily had convinced us all to do it, how it had been Lily's idea all along. All I was hearing about was Lily and her credit. It disgusted me.

Okay, so maybe I wasn't used to sharing the spotlight. Maybe I was used to being the center of all the talk. Maybe I was used to being the infamous mastermind that everyone respected. But no one had the right to take that away from me.

As nearly the entire student body, Slytherins included, came up to comment on her ingeniousness, it took every ounce of self-restraint I had not to poke their eyes out. It was even worse when the teachers started coming around, smiling and congratulating her.

What made it even more awful was how my friends allowed it to happen! They were so content to have her take all the credit. It seemed like they had forgotten about how they _had_ helped make the potion, put it into the cauldrons, etc.

I was so relieved to finally go to bed. I had to get my rest for my punishment tomorrow. Therefore, when Sirius brought up the subject, I snapped.

"Did you _see _the look on Snivelly's face, Prongs?! It was _genius _of Lily! Dumbledore, boobs?!" He was laughing raucously as he recalled.

"Sure." I said, rather put out.

"What's wrong?" Remus asked at once, his face full of concern for me. I grimaced as I told my friends about how I was feeling.

"James…I hate to tell you…but that's the most shallow thing I have _ever_ heard." Sirius said, disgust poorly hidden.

I growled at them. Of all people I would have thought that they would have understood! I stomped angrily around, yelling at them, "Everything I've had has been taken away from me! I never wanted to _share_ my reputation!"

Remus looked at me, thoughtful and awaiting my finish, "You just have to let her be the one to shine. She's the kind of person that needs to be noticed and appreciated every once in a while. You of all people should be able to understand that." He finished, and my mouth was agape. Especially at the look that passed between Sirius and him. Even more so at Remus' reddened face.

I sighed and said, "Whatever. I'm too tired to fight right now. I'm going to bed."

I grumbled and stayed awake for a long time. I couldn't seem to find sleep. My friends' words echoed annoyingly in my brain.

_You of all people should understand that._

The problem was, I did understand. I was just too stubborn to admit it. It wasn't until after four o'clock that I finally fell into a restless sleep.


	14. AUTHORS NOTE

**A/N: So sorry about this story... I've just been busy with the "Esoteric" one and I'm starting another new story. I know, I know. I'm pretty awful. Once I finish up those two chapters I'm determined not to leave this story. I have the next chapters planned out in my head, I just need to get them typed down in the paper.**

**Again, I apologize for my awful updating of this story, and I hope to update soon, so please stay with me as I finish this story!**

**Thanks to all my faithful readers, and don't forget to review :) They inspire me!**

**-olji  
**


	15. Chapter 15

**Chapter 14: Third Person POV**

You could say that the little stunt they pulled caused them to come closer. You could also say it caused them to rip apart.

You see, from then on, Sirius Black, Peter Pettigrew, and even Remus Lupin had a newfound, strengthened respect for Lily Evans. Her sheer brilliancy had been truly honorable.

James Potter however, had been so obsessed with his own "prank" that he had neglected his girlfriend and friends for a while. It didn't matter tonight though, he was about to be the talk of the school yet again.

He was setting up his arch-nemesis, Severus Snape, for a little embarrassment. It had taken a lot of time, not to mention a lot of his intelligence to create a Veritaserum potion. And Snivelly was going to drink it.

He was standing behind a wall, hearing the shuffling noises of what could only be Snape's footsteps. James Potter halted him with a Stupefy and forced the drink down his throat before Snape could even draw his wand.

Snape was looking at James with a mix of horror, hate, and humiliation. It made his unattractive face contort.

"What do you want?" Snape spat.

His spit fuelled James' fury. He pushed him up against the unknown corridor and gagged him, "I ask the questions around here, _Snivellus." _ They were nose to nose with rage. Although Snape looked like he had swallowed a dung beetle, he kept his thin mouth shut.

James yanked back his greasy hair, making sure he could see all of his face. He wanted to look him in the eye this time when he made his life miserable.

"Now _Snivelly_, tell me your deepest secret. I want to hear it loud and proud," James said as he reveled in the power over this greasy young boy. The boy that had been the target of so many pranks and jokes.

To see James like this was eerie, almost like Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde. He had gone from caring-boyfriend-and-loyal-friend to sick-twisted-minded-bully. His hazel eyes were glittering with malice and hate no one knew existed.

Severus seemed to resist for a moment, almost as if he were resisting the Imperious Curse. But this was no Imperious Curse, this was Veritaserum, the most powerful truth potion in the entire Wizarding World.

"I love Lily Evans," he said, his mouth twisting as if denying every word. He had been trying to get over her, especially after her betrayal, but he simply couldn't bring himself to forget the brilliant green-eyed witch.

Surprise, anger, and envy blinded the bully. James faltered for a moment, his hand drew back in shock, and his face fell. It was enough time for Sirius Black and Remus Lupin to intervene. Severus couldn't understand why they had waited so long, but at least they chose to act, rather than stand aside and let it all happen.

Sirius grabbed his wand arm, forcing him off the wall, and Severus Snape. James resisted almost instantly, flailing and aiming punches at the slimy boy. He wasn't finished yet. Fortunately, Remus pulled Severus out of the way of James' flying fists, taking a good one to the eye in the process. He figured it was karma, after standing and watching the humiliation for so long, he deserved some sort of payback. He always knew that being a bystander was the same thing as being the bully.

Sirius barked in an authorative voice, struggling to keep the stocky boy contained, "Oi! James! Cut this out!" James didn't "cut it out". He sprung out of Sirius' grip and swung randomly. HIs fury covered every action he made, blinding him. He was James Potter, and he wasn't going down without a fight.

Remus dropped Severus and went to protect Sirius, taking the blow for him. The strong boy's fist connected with his cheekbone, causing a red mark to immediately appear. With the amount of force attached to the punch, he would definitely have a bruise. However, Remus did not retaliate, he spoke instead.

"James. I don't want to hurt you. If you stop now, I won't. If you don't stop, I will," James was still panting heavily when he leaped for Remus' throat. Remus reacted faster than Sirius could have imagined. His huge, paw like hand caught James mid-leap and threw him back about fifteen feet. He landed on his back. Sirius was frozen now, scared of the strength and power his tall friend had hidden so well.

Remus stalked stealthily, like a wolf on a hunt, as he approached his prey. His amber eyes were glistening with sadness and ferocity as his wolfish instincts took over. It was one of the reasons he didn't like to get into fights. He would never be the one hurt, his opponent however...

He growled as he kneeled besides James. The bespectacled boy was raising his arms in protection, literally fearing for his life. The anger and revenge in him had been replaced by the flight and fight instinct.

It was that movement that caught Remus off guard. He saw one of his best friends so vulnerable, so scared, because of him. Because of what he was. He jumped up and fell back, running back to Sirius, praying he wouldn't judge him.

Severus and Sirius were looking at Remus with a kind of admiration and fear. James blearily lifted his head to look at the trio of boys standing. His head was throbbing from the impact made on the stone floor. His thoughts were turning and his senses were dulled.

Remus spoke first, desperately trying to disperse the tension he caused. "Are you alright?" he asked, directing his attention to Snape. His obsidian eyes betrayed nothing.

Severus nodded, "Yes," he looked at James, who was moaning on the ground, "Thank you." He said, nodding to the two taller men, though looking directly at Remus.

Sirius nodded, "Even you didn't deserve that." He looked with disgust to his best friend, who was still groaning with the pain that throbbed through his entire body.

Severus snorted and sneered, "What a compliment. I'll have to remember that one."

Remus chuckled at the boy's spite, "He didn't mean it that-"

"I know. I was trying to save some face," Severus continued, trying to keep the sneer on his face. He was legitimately thankful towards the two boys, he just didn't want his feelings getting around.

"Ah. I see," Sirius said. He ran a hand through his dark hair before sticking out a hand. Snape looked warily at it for a moment, before shaking it. They were eying each other up the entire time, but at least a bit of their rivalry had been defeated.

"Sorry, Snape. For everything," Sirius dropped his hand from Snape's and walked away toward is friend, leaving the werewolf with the Slytherin. It was an awkward silence for a moment.

"I owe you something Lupin. I won't forget," Snape said as _he _stuck out a hand. Normally, it was Gryffindors that displayed bravery and gallantry, not Slytherins.

Remus took it, but said softly, "You don't owe me anything. This is payment for all the pranks I've ever pulled. I'm sorry." Remus dropped it and walked away, before the young Slytherin could stop him, leaving him awestruck at the corridor. Now there was a true Gryffindor.

He took long strides to reach his best friends at the end of the hallway, ashamed for how far he had thrown James. His head was bowed when he reached them. Sirius was holding James by the scruff of his neck. There was a bulge on the side of his head about the size of a Snitch. Remus didn't feel incredibly sorry for that injury, considering his eye was now swollen shut and his cheek was probably a delicious color purple.

Sirius was obviously fuming, a muscle in his jaw jumping. "Let's get him to our dorm, where we can talk _freely._" James tried to make amends, but his mumbling was drowned out by Remus' deep voice.

"I couldn't agree more."


	16. Chapter 16

**Chapter 15: Remus's POV**

"What the _bloody hell _were you thinking James?! It was utterly ridiculous! You could have been expelled! Not to mention arrested!" Sirius barked as soon as we were in the safety of our dorm. I would not want to be on the receiving end of his rage. Spit was flying everywhere, arms were flailing, and eyes were glaring. If James had spoken up, there would have been hell to pay. He sat, taking the lecture like a crying puppy.

When Sirius stopped his rant, his chest was heaving. He had been yelling loudly, his voice raising an octave or two. I was sure that by now, it would be scratchy with anger. It didn't appear to affect him though.

"Why did you do it, James?" I ventured, using every ounce of self restraint I had to keep my voice calm. My sturdy best friend looked as if he were about to cry. His eyes were misted, and his lower lip was puckered in a way that only showed weakness. James wasn't a weak man, either.

He looked away from Sirius' piercing glare, and my inquisitive eyes, "Because I wanted some of the attention back."

I was sure that right then, my mouth fell three feet. I could literally feel my jaw scraping the ground. I recovered my composure however, in time for Sirius to start yelling again.

"You _bloody_ arse! You have the most sought after girl in the whole _bloody _school, and you choose to attack her _best friend_ for _attention_! _Bloody fucking_ arse!" James flinched every time Sirius spoke a word, his well-trained enunciation almost ironic with the nasty words flowing freely out of his mouth.

I looked at James then, as if for the first time. I saw him in a new light. While half of his face looked nearly remorseful and humiliated, the other side was laughing, like he thought assaulting and seriously harming another student was a joke. It wasn't something I could stand for. I drew the line there and then.

As Sirius' voice almost droned out, though it was so loud, I was sure the entire school could hear it, I thought about how to phrase what I wanted to tell James. It wasn't going to be the easiest thing I had done, that was for sure.

Sirius had paused again, finishing with another "_Bloody fucking_ arse!" I took my chance.

I looked James hard in the eye, making sure I caught his hazel gaze as I spoke my next words, "You do not deserve Lily. You hardly deserve Sirius. You're self-centered, egotistical, and worst of all; you're willing to stab your best friends in the back. Look at my eye, James! It's swollen shut. I can't even imagine what you would do to Severus if you're willing to do _this_ to _me_," I understood why Sirius was panting so much, and why he was yelling. I was past being calm and reasonable, the only thing that mattered at the moment, was that James got what had been coming for a long time.

"Not only that, but _fucking _assault! You've got to be shitting me! I thought even _you _knew where to cut it out. It isn't funny anymore. And I'm certainly not taking a part in it anymore." I hadn't taken my eyes from him the entire time, and he was now crying. The tears rolled down his cheeks silently, and he looked as if he were desperately trying to make them stop.

I tore my eyes from his, not wanting to watch as my best friend broke down. I turned to Sirius, who was looking at me with hardened, but accepting eyes. He spoke quietly now, almost gently. I realized he was trying to soothe James. He probably hated seeing him cry even more than I did.

"You needed to hear that. From someone else other than me, Lily, Snape, and Dumbledore. I hope now it will set in with you that you _aren't _as great as you seem," he tried to get James to look at him, "Everyone's shit stinks, James. Don't believe you're exempt from that."

I took that as my cue to leave. Sirius followed after me, quietly and sorrowfully, leaving our friend to wallow in his own guilt. That was probably the worst punishment of all.

We didn't speak or look at each other until we were far away from our dorm and the Gryffindor common room. I didn't know what to say, and I was pretty sure he didn't either. The silence was more awkward than after we all shared who we liked in our dorm.

We stopped at the library. I was honestly beginning to hate this place. It seemed the center for drama.

Everything seemed to happen in the library.

We walked away from the human population and chose a quiet corridor. I didn't know what to say, so I just stood, waiting for him to speak.

Sirius spoke first, softly, in his library voice, "Do you think we should tell Lily?"

I grimaced, "If we do, I don't want to be the one to tell her." That would be bad, especially if they broke up. If word got out that I had broken her and James up, I was damned sure I'd be dead.

His face crinkled even more than mine did, "Well I don't want to be the one either." His voice was rough and raspy from all the yelling. I wasn't surprised.

I leaned against the bookcase, "Then we aren't going to tell her. Only if it gets worse, okay?" I figured that was fair enough. James was in the batting box, and he had two strikes. He could play it safe and not swing at all, hoping for a ball, or he would swing randomly, causing a strike-out immediately.

Sirius nodded in agreement, "Good idea," he paused for a moment before running his fingers through his hair, he was uncomfortable, "You know…back there…when you said you didn't want to be a part of it anymore? What did you mean, _exactly_?" He raised his grey eyes to mine and I felt incredibly sorry for what I had said. He looked to be having an internal debate.

"I meant that I didn't want to be a part of the bullying anymore. And if that meant not being friends with you, I would do it," I had a perfect poker face on at the moment, though watching Sirius' face fall nearly broke it. He was like a brother to me, and I hated seeing him in pain.

He finally cleared his throat and said, "Well I guess I agree with you. I have to admit, being the bad guy for so long was kind of getting to me. I liked being the good guy today, though you have the battle wounds to prove it." He grinned devilishly at me, pinching my bruised cheek as he brushed past me, out of the library. I tried to grin, although the playful pinch had sent a throbbing pain throughout my entire face.

I stopped him before he could go any further. I clapped my hand on his shoulder and spun him around, almost desperate for his reassurance. "What will happen if nothing gets better? If I do leave?"

Sirius shrugged and said, "Then you leave, and depending on what it is I may or may not leave as well," he stared straight into my eyes at that moment, penetrating me with every glare he had ever used, "But understand this Remus, I'm not loosing you as my friend."

I smiled hugely and hugged him. I couldn't help it. I had never felt so accepted before. People in the library were staring by our public display of affection.

"Thanks Remus," Sirius grumbled as we made our way out of the library, "Now everyone thinks we're gay." I laughed and continued walking with him.

"They're just jealous of our bromance, Sirius. Don't let it get to you," he chuckled a bit at my sarcasm.

I felt better almost immediately. Things were settled between Sirius and I, and for the time being, that would get me through. I needed at least one good friend left in the world. We headed back into the common room, where I finally pulled off my shoes and plopped on the couch, falling asleep before my head hit the pillow.

It had been a long day.


	17. Chapter 17

**Chapter 16**

**Chapter 16**

Lily's POV:

I couldn't help myself. I really couldn't. The story Sirius was telling me now _had _to be a prank. There was no way James would ever actually _hurt _Sev, and Remus. It just wasn't in his nature.

My uncontrollable giggling finally got to him, I guess because all of a sudden his gray eyes flared and he gritted his teeth together. His aristocratic drawl was threatening now, "Do you honestly want to see Remus' eye? 'Cause to get you to believe me, I will. I don't even care what your stomach can stand and what it can't."

That I had to admit caught my attention. Even Sirius wouldn't play that kind of card with me. He wouldn't bluff Remus hurting. He knew he was one of my few soft-spots.

"Can I see him?" I asked, still not quite believing. I guess part of it was also test for Sirius in a way, to make sure he wasn't lying to me, although I highly doubted he would to that.

He growled a stream of profanities under his breath, but grabbed my forearm gently and led me to his dorm. Sure enough, lying on the couch snoring was Remus. And lord did he look tired. The bags under his left eye were evidence enough, but his whole body just _sagged _with the weight of his exhaustion. I didn't want to wake him up. Especially if I were to tell him it was to see his black eye.

I looked pleadingly at Sirius who chuckled slightly, "He's knocked out, Lily. He took a punch for me and ran about four miles to get here after he heard what James was going to do. There's no chance of waking him up, trust me. I've tried multiple times and considered pulling multiple pranks on him."

Four miles? What was he doing four miles away? Exploring the grounds? That couldn't have been it. My train of thought was interrupted by a movement on Sirius' behalf.

I noted how gingerly Sirius treated Remus, like his head would break with the slightest pressure. He looked at me with warning, and I nodded surely, positive I would be able to handle it. Once the right side of his head was exposed, I could see it, clear as day. And like Sirius had said would happen, my stomach lurched at the sight.

His perfect cheekbone looked like someone had crushed it. There was a large, tennis ball size lump on that side of his face that was turning green. The rest of his eye was the color of a plum, purple and navy blue.

I gasped and Sirius put his head back on the soft pillow, his eyes sad and regretful, "Pretty nasty, huh? Took that one for me, this bastard did." He chuckled slightly, and it was an insane sound, like someone mad with guilt would have.

"James tried to punch me out but he caught Remus instead. There's your proof. Do what you want with it," he said, his grey eyes scorching. I had the feeling he wanted me to punish James, but the reality of the situation still hadn't set in. He left me alone in the common room.

For a moment, I wasn't exactly sure what to do, how to act. If there was ever a wild card, this was it. But Remus' _eye._

The sight of his face would haunt me for the rest of my life, I was sure. While one half was its normal, perfect sculpture, the other was smashed, broken, and purple. The difference between the two was shocking, and sickeningly so.

An epiphany broke through the surface of all those thoughts.

My _boyfriend _had done that. He had: assaulted my once best friend, tried to punch _his _best friend, and ended up giving his other best friend a terrible black eye.

One thing was for certain: there would be hell to pay for that.

I stomped through the Gryffindor house looking for him, and I found him. I was screaming before I knew it.

"You bastard! You hurt Remus! You assaulted Severus! You're a complete and total arse!" I was breathing hard, and was sure I looked about as red as a tomato.

He winced, "You sound like Sirius." He ran a hand through his hair. One of his knuckles was swollen. Seeing that made me even madder than I was before, because that was the hand that had connected with Remus' cheek.

_You only care because you love Remus. It doesn't matter that Sev was hurt. It matters to you that Remus does. That's why you're so mad. _One half of my mind was traitorous and it fueled my fire.

"Maybe it's because we both know what we're talking about!" I shouted, despite having almost the entire Gryffindor house watching our entire conversation.

James stood up then, pulling himself up and making himself look gargantuan. I didn't back down, "You two have absolutely no idea what you're talking about! If you did, you would understand!" His chest was heaving and his normally calm hazel eyes were fiery.

I pushed closer to him, "Care to share, James? Because I'm fairly certain any reason you give me won't be good enough for what you did!"

His breath was coming in short, furious bursts and I was beginning to get afraid. His meaty hands shook with the intensity of his anger, and his rock hard body was poised and ready to punch. I stepped a millimeter back.

He suddenly dropped all fight in him and crumbled at my knees. After all that had happened today, that was the thing I had been least expecting. "I'm so sorry. Lily I'm so sorry," James pleaded at my feet. The sound of his voice evaporated my anger almost immediately.

Standing like some shock-crazed idiot was going to get me nowhere, so I sunk to his level. "James," I murmured, taking his face into my hands, "Just tell me why you did it so we can get through it and move on. You know I hate to fight."

The tears streamed down his face begged me to forgive him, and the part of my heart that belonged to him produced his pardon, "It's alright, James. It's alright. Just swear, to never, ever do that again."

He looked at me, pulled me close into a hug, and I saw a weight of bricks removed from his shoulder, "You have no idea how much I've wanted to hear those words fall from your lips. Remus and Sirius still haven't forgiven me."

I pulled back slightly, disbelieving, "I'm not sure Remus will be forgiving you anytime soon."

He looked puzzled, "And why is that?"

I scoffed at his lack of empathy for his friend, "Maybe it's the tennis ball sized lump on his face that's also purple and black. That might have something to do with it."

Then, to my surprise, his face turned triumphant and smug, "Well at least you picked a boyfriend who knows how to throw a solid punch."

With that comment, I threw a punch of my own, straight into his gut, turned around and walked away. I was fuming mad at him and I wanted nothing to do with the boy at the moment.

Or possibly ever.


End file.
